Unity and Diversity

I watched the movie "Life As We Know It" last night for the second time in 24 hours. It's cute, and funny. It's not anything incredibly earth shattering.
There are couple scenes in the movie though that really spoke to me.

The basic storyline is that a couple tries to set-up their best friends, it turns out horribly.
Then they die, leaving there 1 year-old daughter, to the two best friends who can't stand each other.

Last weekend, my friend Arwen called to tell me a quote she had heard. The quote was "Holding bitterness in your heart is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." I told her to stop talking and hold the thought so I could run get a pen and write it down.

I had never heard bitterness described that way.

Then it got me thinking about the things I hold onto, the hurts the just still seem to hurt. The hurts that people just seemed to really jab at.

It also got me thinking about all the times that something was said or done that was really offensive. As a single person, over the age of 25, it happens a lot. The person may not have been meaning to be offensive, but the reality is that if they really thought about what they said, they would probably want to glue their lips shut for the rest of their lives.

Then I started thinking about whether or not people really are as they seem. What I mean by that is that often we project an image, and that image is how the world views us. The world except for the occasional very very close friend that really truly knows us. Many people don't have those kinds of friends. And of course God, who knows us at our very core, like it or not.

Which brings me back to the movie.

Holly and Messer have been living in their dead friends' house raising their daughter and fighting constantly. Holly finds some home videos, one of which is the husband filming the wife as she brings their newborn into the nursery for the first time. She starts yelling at him because it smells like paint fumes, and wasn't he suppose to have it painted weeks ago?
Holly and Messer are surprised, they had always viewed their friends as the perfect couple that never fought and had the perfect life. The following conversation ensued.

Messer: "So what you are saying is that it's okay if we are horrible parents and want to kill each other 50% of the time?"

Holly:"Ninety percent. I think what I am saying is that I think we need to stop fitting ourselves into their lives"

And then I started thinking about how sometimes it's not so much that I am trying to fit myself into someone elses' life, it's that they are trying to fit me into theirs, or I am trying to fit them into mine.

Yes I'm single, and yes I want to be married someday, but me not being married does not make me half a person. It does not make me a lesser person.
It just makes me a whole single person.

Yes I love to eat locally grown organic veggies and can't remember the last time I ate mac and cheese from a box. This doesn't make me a weird eater, it just means I like different food than the general population in western Kentucky.

I don't need a man to make me happy. I don't need to have 2.5 kids and a cutely decorated and organized house to be happy. I don't need coupons for kraft products to make my life rich and satisfying. In fact happiness is circumstantial and temporary.

What I am looking for is peace and eternal perspective, no matter what the circumstances.

What I need is Jesus. And good friends who love and accept me. Me, the girl who likes pink, and running, and swimming, and fresh from the vine tomatoes.

It all brought me back to a sermon I heard last Sunday. My pastor said "The church in the midst of our unity, should have diversity. We need to be taking on the character of Christ."

I felt like light bulbs were going off in my head.

I love my life, most days. And I wouldn't change the journey I've been on to bring me to this place I'm at. Yes there were times that were not very fun, in fact there were times that were down right miserable. I am sure there will be more of those times in the future. Those times, as well as the good times are all events and circumstances that God has used to shape me. There is purpose to it. I may never fully know what His purpose is or was, but none the less, He has ordained this life for me.

Some of those miserable experiences do include the times that people suggested that the reason I am not married is that I am too picky, or too athletic, or that I live in too small of a town, or that I am not forward enough with guys, or that I am too forward. I could go on, I won't though, here is someone else's post on that
http://jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2011/02/awkward-youre-single-conversations-at-church/

and here
http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2009/06/550-surviving-church-as-a-single/
and no, I will not tell you what my score was.

And yet we need each other. I could chose to eliminate the people in my life who are not like me. But I need them, just as they need me.

He didn't ordain this life I am living right now for my married friend with 2.5 kids, just as her life is not mine.

It all brings me back to the movie.
Messer is offering to help Holly. She doesn't want to take the help.

He says "Accepting help doesn't mean that you are weak, it just means that you are not alone."

Which of course brings me to this video. Not only do we as Christians need each other, differences and all, but the church needs us, our diversity and our unity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arxfLK_sd68