767 Good talks with a new believer
768 answered prayer
769 bonfire with the girls
770 Sunday potluck at church
771 conviction
772 this video
how can you not laugh
773 a good Monday night chat
774 catching up on sleep
775 awesome morning run with my running buddy
776 male peacocks with real feathers
777 lunch with an old friend from Saudi
778 awesome crockpot recipes
779 a long chat with Arwen
780 sweet goodnight texts from good friends
781 the reminder of the great privilege it is to live in a country where we are free to worship God without fear
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
How far will you drive?
Yesterday I had lunch with a friend whom I grew up with.
She lives in Texas now, but was visiting Nashville, so after a bit of figuring out, we met for lunch halfway. It was just over an hour for me, 45 minutes of driving for her. In all honesty, it was a very short drive, a drop in the bucket. I have gone much further for just breakfast, and probably will again.
I remember when I was in boarding school, I would get so excited when we were playing at certain schools, St Andrews for example. I had several friends (Jodi, Emily, Lacy, Anne) who all went to school there. When I went to play soccer there, I would often see Jodi. When we swam there, I would swim against Emily, Lacy, and Anne. Even if we didn't have long to catch up, even if we were on opposing teams, it was comforting for me just simply to have seen them.
I find myself so frequently having to, or feeling the need to, explain myself. But with those girls, there is not need, they have all been there, on the bus to khobar to shop, to Rahima to grab shwarmas, on the random "field trips" to the beach with Mr. Drum.
I hear so often "wow you have had so many crazy experiences," or "wow, you have been so many places."
With them, I hear "hey remember the 9th grade trip to the Red Sea when ..." or "hey remember how we used to.... on the plane from London" and it feels completely normal. I don't feel like my life is an anomaly.
God has blessed my life with so many people, from so many places. I love so many people here in my small town, and I love so many people in New England, and so many former students and athletes and coworkers from Michigan.
But there is just something so special and comforting about the other Aramco Brats, even if we weren't super close friends growing up.
And it is for this reason that I will always drive, always take time off from work, always make it work, if there is an opportunity to see them, even if it's just for lunch.
I mean seriously, how many groups of people can have in depth conversations on the use of golf carts for off roading in sand dunes, or the difference in cleanliness of the bathrooms at the old Dhahran airport and the new Dhahran airport? Or the pros and cons of the Al-Shula mall as opposed to the Al-Rashid mall? (before the shula burned down after being on fire for several days of course)
She lives in Texas now, but was visiting Nashville, so after a bit of figuring out, we met for lunch halfway. It was just over an hour for me, 45 minutes of driving for her. In all honesty, it was a very short drive, a drop in the bucket. I have gone much further for just breakfast, and probably will again.
I remember when I was in boarding school, I would get so excited when we were playing at certain schools, St Andrews for example. I had several friends (Jodi, Emily, Lacy, Anne) who all went to school there. When I went to play soccer there, I would often see Jodi. When we swam there, I would swim against Emily, Lacy, and Anne. Even if we didn't have long to catch up, even if we were on opposing teams, it was comforting for me just simply to have seen them.
I find myself so frequently having to, or feeling the need to, explain myself. But with those girls, there is not need, they have all been there, on the bus to khobar to shop, to Rahima to grab shwarmas, on the random "field trips" to the beach with Mr. Drum.
I hear so often "wow you have had so many crazy experiences," or "wow, you have been so many places."
With them, I hear "hey remember the 9th grade trip to the Red Sea when ..." or "hey remember how we used to.... on the plane from London" and it feels completely normal. I don't feel like my life is an anomaly.
God has blessed my life with so many people, from so many places. I love so many people here in my small town, and I love so many people in New England, and so many former students and athletes and coworkers from Michigan.
But there is just something so special and comforting about the other Aramco Brats, even if we weren't super close friends growing up.
And it is for this reason that I will always drive, always take time off from work, always make it work, if there is an opportunity to see them, even if it's just for lunch.
I mean seriously, how many groups of people can have in depth conversations on the use of golf carts for off roading in sand dunes, or the difference in cleanliness of the bathrooms at the old Dhahran airport and the new Dhahran airport? Or the pros and cons of the Al-Shula mall as opposed to the Al-Rashid mall? (before the shula burned down after being on fire for several days of course)
Sunday, October 23, 2011
When you do what you are suppose to do.
When I was a junior in college I was asked to lead a small group Bible study for freshman in the campus ministry I was involved in. I felt weird about it, I was nervous. I reluctantly agreed, a leader was needed, I was a junior, it was time for me to step up.
I think I knew in my heart, that this venture wasn't going to be awesomely successful before it had even started. I had been in small groups throughout college, I had been part of authentic community, but I was nervous about my ability to foster it.
I won't say it was a complete disaster, there were some good things and a couple relationships that came out of it. I don't think there is ever a way to go completely wrong when studying God's Word.
What started out at the first meeting with 7 freshman women, ended with 2 at Christmas break. We made a Christmas mix cd, I still listen to it. It was an awesome CD. And those 2 freshman are still good friends, I think the 3 of us stuck it out because we all have curly hair. They live in different states now and it makes me smile when I see them scheduling phone dates with each other on facebook.
(It was a really cold New England spring afternoon, I was freezing)
But I have always been a little leery of leading a small group again.
So at the beginning of this semester when I felt like God was nudging me "Cate, start a small group Bible study with this group of women, these recent college grads," I threw a temper tantrum. I said "no God, this isn't how You gifted me, I'm not good a leading small group Bible Studies. I am good planning and organizing retreats. I'm more like Martha, doing doing doing." I stomped my feet.
And then I reluctantly said "hey do you guys think you would like to start getting together for small group Bible study."
And then they said "YES WE WOULD LOVE TO." and then I actually had to follow through and do it.
And this time it is a different story. It's a story that is so confusing to me. It's a story that has many more chapters, we are just at the beginning. It's a story of God using me, me who is completely inept at these types of things. And therefore it is God's story. His story of working all things together for good.
Friday night one of the girls had a bunch of people over for a bonfire at her apartment. There were lots of young women, and a few guys. I had one of those moments where I felt really old, I was sitting there thinking "wow, I'm 30, all of these people are under 25" and then I watched as these women continued to interact and bond and share life, they way they have been doing over the last month.
I am so thankful that He has blessed me, I am so thankful that for once I listened and did what I was asked to do.
I am so grateful that I get to be a fly on the wall as I watch them genuinely care about each other as they are all walking through big transitions.
And I am thankful that they can be ridiculously silly also.
And as I drove home, I had to smile and say "God you are amazing, simply amazing."
I think I knew in my heart, that this venture wasn't going to be awesomely successful before it had even started. I had been in small groups throughout college, I had been part of authentic community, but I was nervous about my ability to foster it.
I won't say it was a complete disaster, there were some good things and a couple relationships that came out of it. I don't think there is ever a way to go completely wrong when studying God's Word.
What started out at the first meeting with 7 freshman women, ended with 2 at Christmas break. We made a Christmas mix cd, I still listen to it. It was an awesome CD. And those 2 freshman are still good friends, I think the 3 of us stuck it out because we all have curly hair. They live in different states now and it makes me smile when I see them scheduling phone dates with each other on facebook.
(It was a really cold New England spring afternoon, I was freezing)
But I have always been a little leery of leading a small group again.
So at the beginning of this semester when I felt like God was nudging me "Cate, start a small group Bible study with this group of women, these recent college grads," I threw a temper tantrum. I said "no God, this isn't how You gifted me, I'm not good a leading small group Bible Studies. I am good planning and organizing retreats. I'm more like Martha, doing doing doing." I stomped my feet.
And then I reluctantly said "hey do you guys think you would like to start getting together for small group Bible study."
And then they said "YES WE WOULD LOVE TO." and then I actually had to follow through and do it.
And this time it is a different story. It's a story that is so confusing to me. It's a story that has many more chapters, we are just at the beginning. It's a story of God using me, me who is completely inept at these types of things. And therefore it is God's story. His story of working all things together for good.
Friday night one of the girls had a bunch of people over for a bonfire at her apartment. There were lots of young women, and a few guys. I had one of those moments where I felt really old, I was sitting there thinking "wow, I'm 30, all of these people are under 25" and then I watched as these women continued to interact and bond and share life, they way they have been doing over the last month.
I am so thankful that He has blessed me, I am so thankful that for once I listened and did what I was asked to do.
I am so grateful that I get to be a fly on the wall as I watch them genuinely care about each other as they are all walking through big transitions.
And I am thankful that they can be ridiculously silly also.
And as I drove home, I had to smile and say "God you are amazing, simply amazing."
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Thankful Thursday 10/20/2011
754 people actually doing what they said they were going to do
755 celebrating birthdays for friends
756 learning about the cheetos cure for nausea
757 a free Saturday morning
758 kitchen experiments that turn out awesome
759 good advise from people with more knowledge than myself
760 three different stories about Mary and Martha the same week
761 God's Word making sense of my life
762 Jon Acuff blogs
763 crock pot food
764 undisrupted, focused class
765 an amazing morning run
766 Ryan Hall videos
755 celebrating birthdays for friends
756 learning about the cheetos cure for nausea
757 a free Saturday morning
758 kitchen experiments that turn out awesome
759 good advise from people with more knowledge than myself
760 three different stories about Mary and Martha the same week
761 God's Word making sense of my life
762 Jon Acuff blogs
763 crock pot food
764 undisrupted, focused class
765 an amazing morning run
766 Ryan Hall videos
LIFE CHANGING
Disclaimer: If you are on a diet, don't continue reading...
One time my friend Andy said "self-contol begins in the grocery store." And he was completely right. When you don't buy junk food at the grocery store, you don't have it at home to eat. Andy is one of those sickening individuals that is fine with all that.
I on the other hand sometimes need some brownies, or a piece of chocolate cake.
The problem is that if I buy a brownie mix, I have to make the whole brownie mix. Being single and living alone, well, that leaves 1 person to eat the brownies. THAT MY FRIENDS IS DANGEROUS.
For the last several years I have just completely forgone these types of items, unless I am at a gathering. I won't even make these types of items to take with me to gatherings, because everybody knows that at the end of the night, you have to take whats left of what you brought home. If there is a lot of my gooey delish left, I am taking it home, to my house, where there is only me to eat it. Instead of making chocolate cherry fudge bars, or rocky road fudge bars, or any of the long list of amazing recipes I have inherited from my mom, I take things like, fruit and fruit dip, or edamame, or salad.
And just to clarify, there is nothing wrong with fruit dip, edamame, or salad. I love those things, someone has to bring them.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, my students introduced me to StumbleUpon...
Fast forward to this past week; I Stumbled Upon THE MUG RECIPES!
I can't even begin to tell you how this is going to change my life.
It's mind blowing really.
Did you know there is a recipe for one serving, made in a mug, of brownie!
I added ice cream, just for good measure.
Did you know there is a recipe for one serving, made in a mug, of ooey gooey chocolate cake?
DID YOU KNOW THERE IS A RECIPE FOR 2 WHITE CUPCAKES? JUST 2?
ME NEITHER!
So after I stumbled upon them, I have slowly over about a 2 week period been trying the recipes out.
They mainly take ingredients that I have around anyway.
And lets just discuss the whole chocolate chip situation. I have come to realize that IT DOES MATTER. Ghiradelli chocolate chips are WAY better than the generic kroger brand. WAY BETTER, it's worth the extra dollar or 2.
The recipes are all pretty simple.
Throw the dry ingredients in your favorite mug. My favorite mug is from the San Diego zoo, I got it while I was in grad school, it's huge and has pandas. I love pandas, they have been my favorite animal since I was 2 and went to China.
Anyway back to the brownies
Add the wet ingredients.
Microwave for 1 minute. ONE MINUTE that's it.
Ta Da, delicious brownies, they didn't really even have gross hard edges.
These recipes have changed the life of this single girl, I tell ya.
One time my friend Andy said "self-contol begins in the grocery store." And he was completely right. When you don't buy junk food at the grocery store, you don't have it at home to eat. Andy is one of those sickening individuals that is fine with all that.
I on the other hand sometimes need some brownies, or a piece of chocolate cake.
The problem is that if I buy a brownie mix, I have to make the whole brownie mix. Being single and living alone, well, that leaves 1 person to eat the brownies. THAT MY FRIENDS IS DANGEROUS.
For the last several years I have just completely forgone these types of items, unless I am at a gathering. I won't even make these types of items to take with me to gatherings, because everybody knows that at the end of the night, you have to take whats left of what you brought home. If there is a lot of my gooey delish left, I am taking it home, to my house, where there is only me to eat it. Instead of making chocolate cherry fudge bars, or rocky road fudge bars, or any of the long list of amazing recipes I have inherited from my mom, I take things like, fruit and fruit dip, or edamame, or salad.
And just to clarify, there is nothing wrong with fruit dip, edamame, or salad. I love those things, someone has to bring them.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, my students introduced me to StumbleUpon...
Fast forward to this past week; I Stumbled Upon THE MUG RECIPES!
I can't even begin to tell you how this is going to change my life.
It's mind blowing really.
Did you know there is a recipe for one serving, made in a mug, of brownie!
I added ice cream, just for good measure.
Did you know there is a recipe for one serving, made in a mug, of ooey gooey chocolate cake?
DID YOU KNOW THERE IS A RECIPE FOR 2 WHITE CUPCAKES? JUST 2?
ME NEITHER!
So after I stumbled upon them, I have slowly over about a 2 week period been trying the recipes out.
They mainly take ingredients that I have around anyway.
And lets just discuss the whole chocolate chip situation. I have come to realize that IT DOES MATTER. Ghiradelli chocolate chips are WAY better than the generic kroger brand. WAY BETTER, it's worth the extra dollar or 2.
The recipes are all pretty simple.
Throw the dry ingredients in your favorite mug. My favorite mug is from the San Diego zoo, I got it while I was in grad school, it's huge and has pandas. I love pandas, they have been my favorite animal since I was 2 and went to China.
Anyway back to the brownies
Add the wet ingredients.
Microwave for 1 minute. ONE MINUTE that's it.
Ta Da, delicious brownies, they didn't really even have gross hard edges.
These recipes have changed the life of this single girl, I tell ya.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Thankful Thursday 10/13/2011
740 a great meeting about moving forward with some big changes
741 people who walk you step by step through scary processes
742 Friday night plans
743 Small children trying to ride sheep
744 an awesome run before church
745 awesome conversations with people I work with
746 New life in Christ
747 people offering encouragement when I am stressed out
748 working with really positive people
749 the reminder that this world is not my home
750 knowing that projects I am working on will have a major impact on someone else's life
751 That my dad can be reached via email even though he is in the middle of the ocean
752 friends who are athletic trainers at other schools and will give me straight answers
753 the recipe for mug brownies
741 people who walk you step by step through scary processes
742 Friday night plans
743 Small children trying to ride sheep
744 an awesome run before church
745 awesome conversations with people I work with
746 New life in Christ
747 people offering encouragement when I am stressed out
748 working with really positive people
749 the reminder that this world is not my home
750 knowing that projects I am working on will have a major impact on someone else's life
751 That my dad can be reached via email even though he is in the middle of the ocean
752 friends who are athletic trainers at other schools and will give me straight answers
753 the recipe for mug brownies
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Compassion
I have been thinking a lot lately about the word compassion, and what it means, and what it means to live it out.
When I think of the word compassion, I generally think about the organization Compassion International. Which always leads me to the little girl I sponsor.
I googled the word compassion and came up with several definitions, the most basic being "to suffer together with."
David repeatedly cries out to the Lord in the Psalms, that God would show him His compassion. He also calls the Lord's compassion great, that He is full of compassion (Psalm 119.)
Many times the prophets talk about the Lord showing compassion, even though the people of God are not deserving of it.
Many times the Gospel writers talk about Jesus having compassion for people. He had compassion for large crowds who were without food and leadership and teaching. He had compassion for individuals who were sick or blind or lame.
Jesus tells the parable of the prodigal son and says that when the father saw his son a long way off, even though the son had squandered his inheritance, the father had compassion for him.
In Colossians Paul tells us to clothe ourselves with compassion, and a few other attributes as well.
What does that mean though? What does that look like?
There are a lot of hurting people in this world, there are a lot of needs. There aren't enough hours in the day or dollars in my bank account to help all the people in need around me, or for the causes I care strongly about.
Recently I was talking about homeless people with some friends, and how we always feel a little weird giving them money, I mean I know there are some people out there who pose as homeless people and basically con you. And I know a lot of homeless people tend to spend their money on alcohol and such. And there are the people who are homeless because of really poor choices they have made.
Several years ago though, something my brother said really changed my view. He had recently started working in San Diego, where they have a very large homeless population, and he was interacting with several of them on a regular basis due to his job, and he was learning their stories. And that's what changed me, their stories. They all have them.
And what about hitchhikers? I mean, I know that for safety reasons it is not wise for me, a single woman, often driving alone to pick them up. In college though, I got to know a guy, who I worked with at camp, who loves to hitch hike, for the adventure. He isn't a creep, he actually studied youth ministry at a Christian college, he actually has worked in full time ministry and as a youth pastor. He will choose to hitchhike from the East Coast to the West Coast instead of buying a plane ticket, just for the adventure and to meet people. I am not suggesting this is something we should all try, but knowing him has changed my perspective when I pass a hitchhiker on the road.
I don't think it's possible for us to give of our time, money, effort, emotions to every cause. I have friends who are passionate about stopping the sex slave trade, and friends who are passionate about orphans, and friends who are passionate about helping the homeless. And I think it's important to give somewhere.
But what does it mean to posses the character trait compassion?
What about the everyday occurrences that provide us the opportunity to show compassion, not for a cause, but for a person, or for a family. How do I develop a more compassionate heart in this callous world, when I often find myself closed off in an effort to protect myself?
I know this is an area where God is working on me, where 2 years ago I would have tried to stealthily take a photo of an ildressed individual to send to friends for a good laugh, I now find myself wondering what her story is. I wonder what the hurts are in her life, that have caused her to seek attention by wearing what she is wearing. I am left wondering whether she knows that there is One who created her, who loves her completely, and whose heart is breaking with hers as He watches her, knowing that He is the only thing that can fill the hole in her heart that she is trying to so desperately to fill.
When I think of the word compassion, I generally think about the organization Compassion International. Which always leads me to the little girl I sponsor.
I googled the word compassion and came up with several definitions, the most basic being "to suffer together with."
David repeatedly cries out to the Lord in the Psalms, that God would show him His compassion. He also calls the Lord's compassion great, that He is full of compassion (Psalm 119.)
Many times the prophets talk about the Lord showing compassion, even though the people of God are not deserving of it.
Many times the Gospel writers talk about Jesus having compassion for people. He had compassion for large crowds who were without food and leadership and teaching. He had compassion for individuals who were sick or blind or lame.
Jesus tells the parable of the prodigal son and says that when the father saw his son a long way off, even though the son had squandered his inheritance, the father had compassion for him.
In Colossians Paul tells us to clothe ourselves with compassion, and a few other attributes as well.
What does that mean though? What does that look like?
There are a lot of hurting people in this world, there are a lot of needs. There aren't enough hours in the day or dollars in my bank account to help all the people in need around me, or for the causes I care strongly about.
Recently I was talking about homeless people with some friends, and how we always feel a little weird giving them money, I mean I know there are some people out there who pose as homeless people and basically con you. And I know a lot of homeless people tend to spend their money on alcohol and such. And there are the people who are homeless because of really poor choices they have made.
Several years ago though, something my brother said really changed my view. He had recently started working in San Diego, where they have a very large homeless population, and he was interacting with several of them on a regular basis due to his job, and he was learning their stories. And that's what changed me, their stories. They all have them.
And what about hitchhikers? I mean, I know that for safety reasons it is not wise for me, a single woman, often driving alone to pick them up. In college though, I got to know a guy, who I worked with at camp, who loves to hitch hike, for the adventure. He isn't a creep, he actually studied youth ministry at a Christian college, he actually has worked in full time ministry and as a youth pastor. He will choose to hitchhike from the East Coast to the West Coast instead of buying a plane ticket, just for the adventure and to meet people. I am not suggesting this is something we should all try, but knowing him has changed my perspective when I pass a hitchhiker on the road.
I don't think it's possible for us to give of our time, money, effort, emotions to every cause. I have friends who are passionate about stopping the sex slave trade, and friends who are passionate about orphans, and friends who are passionate about helping the homeless. And I think it's important to give somewhere.
But what does it mean to posses the character trait compassion?
What about the everyday occurrences that provide us the opportunity to show compassion, not for a cause, but for a person, or for a family. How do I develop a more compassionate heart in this callous world, when I often find myself closed off in an effort to protect myself?
I know this is an area where God is working on me, where 2 years ago I would have tried to stealthily take a photo of an ildressed individual to send to friends for a good laugh, I now find myself wondering what her story is. I wonder what the hurts are in her life, that have caused her to seek attention by wearing what she is wearing. I am left wondering whether she knows that there is One who created her, who loves her completely, and whose heart is breaking with hers as He watches her, knowing that He is the only thing that can fill the hole in her heart that she is trying to so desperately to fill.
Thursday, October 06, 2011
Thankful Thursday 10/6/2011
725 Dumping things in a crock pot in the morning and coming home to an awesome meal
726 A quiet uneventful weekend for fall break
727 hanging out with friends laughing
728 productivity at work
729 watching a group of women start to form authentic community
730 my favorite candle
731 a really great Saturday morning run
732 this song by Laura Story
733 getting to swim with the swim bike runners
734 Colombian coffee
735 Easy solutions to big problems
736 good sleep on crisp nights with the window open
737 Dropkick Murphys at a football game in west Kentucky
738 three days in a row of sleeping in
739 James chapter 3
726 A quiet uneventful weekend for fall break
727 hanging out with friends laughing
728 productivity at work
729 watching a group of women start to form authentic community
730 my favorite candle
731 a really great Saturday morning run
732 this song by Laura Story
733 getting to swim with the swim bike runners
734 Colombian coffee
735 Easy solutions to big problems
736 good sleep on crisp nights with the window open
737 Dropkick Murphys at a football game in west Kentucky
738 three days in a row of sleeping in
739 James chapter 3
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Thankful Thursday 9/29/2011
711 Running into a former student and getting to catch up
712 holding her little son while he slept through a soccer game
713 getting together with my Sunday school class for a Saturday night cookout
714 impromptu plans with friends
715 hearing someone tell about how and where God is leading them
716 a great Sunday school lesson
717 a great sermon
718 an amazing conversation with a student athlete about life
719 hearing someone talk about their passions and how God is using them
720 cheeseburger pizza, thank you Jamie
721 a short but good dinner with friends
722 standing out in the rain under an umbrella talking
723 peace
724 Godly single men
712 holding her little son while he slept through a soccer game
713 getting together with my Sunday school class for a Saturday night cookout
714 impromptu plans with friends
715 hearing someone tell about how and where God is leading them
716 a great Sunday school lesson
717 a great sermon
718 an amazing conversation with a student athlete about life
719 hearing someone talk about their passions and how God is using them
720 cheeseburger pizza, thank you Jamie
721 a short but good dinner with friends
722 standing out in the rain under an umbrella talking
723 peace
724 Godly single men
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Sweet Spot
I am a planner. I have always been a planner. It has always been important to know what is coming next, to have time to prepare, both physically and emotionally.
I make itineraries, planning unplanned time into the plan.
I can't remember not being this way.
When I moved here to West Kentucky, I came without a plan. It was strange and weird for me, but I knew it was where I was suppose to be.
Throughout the years, various and assorted people have asked "how long are you going to stay here?" or "when do you think you will move on from here?"
As hard as it has been for this planner heart, I have always said "I will know when it's time."
Being here hasn't always been easy. Actually being here has never been easy. It has been downright miserable at times.
But I knew it wasn't time to go yet.
Recently I have felt God's nudging to step out in faith. Not just in one area of my life, but in several.
I know that the plan is for change. I just don't know what exactly that change is. I also know quite clearly that I am not the plan maker.
One step was to start a small group with some amazing sisters, 4 of them, all recent college grads, trying to find their way as they walk with God, without a road map. We have started meeting once a week to study His Word, and pray for each other, and hold each other accountable.
Last night we were talking about how exactly you know when God is calling for major changes in your life. Like how do you know when it's time for a new job? Or to sell your house and move into an apartment? Sometimes it can be really intimidating and scary. Some people become paralyzed by it.
As we were talking I remembered an experience I had years ago at one of my favorite favorite places.
I had this camper in my cabin, and on her medical form it said she was a "sleep runner." Interesting I thought, and that night as I put the girls to bed, I made sure to latch the door shut.
I was awoken sometime in the middle of the night, and sure enough there was my camper, running down a trail in the dark.
And I was running after her, with a flashlight, trying not to stumble and fall. It's really dark in those woods at night, especially if it's not a full moon. The tree coverage is dense. You can hardly see your hand in front of your face. There are roots and rocks and bends in the trail all over the place. It's easy to trip and fall in broad daylight. It's really hard to not trip and fall in the middle of the night. The flashlight gave just enough light to see my next step, each next step. The trail 10 feet ahead was not in view.
As I was running I remembered Psalm 119:105, and the old song that quotes it.
"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and light unto my path."
That is when it hit me, chasing after sleep runner.
It's a light to my feet, illuminating what is directly in front of me, keeping me from falling flat on my face.
It doesn't say "Thy Word is a road map to the rest of your life, complete with symbols and a key."
Lately there has been a lot of asking and telling about major changes on the horizon in my life, and I keep saying "I'm just putting one foot in front of the other, and trusting that He has a plan." This is not an easy thing for me to say, and it is not an easy thing for me to do. But it is good, and it is right, and I feel like I'm in my sweet spot.
You know, when you hit a baseball on the exact right spot of the bat, with the exact right timing, and even if you aren't swinging for the fences, the ball is sailing towards the fences, because everything fell into place, just as it was suppose to.
I'm not playing baseball, but I am walking forward, and I am trusting God, and I don't understand a lot of what is going on, and I couldn't tell you what things will look like a month from now, or a year from now. But I do know that I am headed in the right direction, as little logical sense as it makes.
I make itineraries, planning unplanned time into the plan.
I can't remember not being this way.
When I moved here to West Kentucky, I came without a plan. It was strange and weird for me, but I knew it was where I was suppose to be.
Throughout the years, various and assorted people have asked "how long are you going to stay here?" or "when do you think you will move on from here?"
As hard as it has been for this planner heart, I have always said "I will know when it's time."
Being here hasn't always been easy. Actually being here has never been easy. It has been downright miserable at times.
But I knew it wasn't time to go yet.
Recently I have felt God's nudging to step out in faith. Not just in one area of my life, but in several.
I know that the plan is for change. I just don't know what exactly that change is. I also know quite clearly that I am not the plan maker.
One step was to start a small group with some amazing sisters, 4 of them, all recent college grads, trying to find their way as they walk with God, without a road map. We have started meeting once a week to study His Word, and pray for each other, and hold each other accountable.
Last night we were talking about how exactly you know when God is calling for major changes in your life. Like how do you know when it's time for a new job? Or to sell your house and move into an apartment? Sometimes it can be really intimidating and scary. Some people become paralyzed by it.
As we were talking I remembered an experience I had years ago at one of my favorite favorite places.
I had this camper in my cabin, and on her medical form it said she was a "sleep runner." Interesting I thought, and that night as I put the girls to bed, I made sure to latch the door shut.
I was awoken sometime in the middle of the night, and sure enough there was my camper, running down a trail in the dark.
And I was running after her, with a flashlight, trying not to stumble and fall. It's really dark in those woods at night, especially if it's not a full moon. The tree coverage is dense. You can hardly see your hand in front of your face. There are roots and rocks and bends in the trail all over the place. It's easy to trip and fall in broad daylight. It's really hard to not trip and fall in the middle of the night. The flashlight gave just enough light to see my next step, each next step. The trail 10 feet ahead was not in view.
As I was running I remembered Psalm 119:105, and the old song that quotes it.
"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and light unto my path."
That is when it hit me, chasing after sleep runner.
It's a light to my feet, illuminating what is directly in front of me, keeping me from falling flat on my face.
It doesn't say "Thy Word is a road map to the rest of your life, complete with symbols and a key."
Lately there has been a lot of asking and telling about major changes on the horizon in my life, and I keep saying "I'm just putting one foot in front of the other, and trusting that He has a plan." This is not an easy thing for me to say, and it is not an easy thing for me to do. But it is good, and it is right, and I feel like I'm in my sweet spot.
You know, when you hit a baseball on the exact right spot of the bat, with the exact right timing, and even if you aren't swinging for the fences, the ball is sailing towards the fences, because everything fell into place, just as it was suppose to.
I'm not playing baseball, but I am walking forward, and I am trusting God, and I don't understand a lot of what is going on, and I couldn't tell you what things will look like a month from now, or a year from now. But I do know that I am headed in the right direction, as little logical sense as it makes.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Thankful Thursday 9/22/2011
694 a great time with friends I don't see often anymore
695 direction
696 reconnecting with an old friend
697 possibilities
698 a really fun football game
699 the old people dancing in the stands
700 celebrating a friend's upcoming marriage
701 watching people who are good at their job, excel at it
702 the athletes that always seem to be bringing me another great youtube video
703 remembering the important things about my job, and making them my priority
704 encouragement from friends
705 a new opportunity for Bible study
706 a group of young women who are excited about getting together
707 stumbleupon
708 talking to my Nana on the phone, finally after many failed attempts
709 the class I'm teaching this semester
710 being able to save all the files on my 16G jump/thumb/flash drive that stopped working
695 direction
696 reconnecting with an old friend
697 possibilities
698 a really fun football game
699 the old people dancing in the stands
700 celebrating a friend's upcoming marriage
701 watching people who are good at their job, excel at it
702 the athletes that always seem to be bringing me another great youtube video
703 remembering the important things about my job, and making them my priority
704 encouragement from friends
705 a new opportunity for Bible study
706 a group of young women who are excited about getting together
707 stumbleupon
708 talking to my Nana on the phone, finally after many failed attempts
709 the class I'm teaching this semester
710 being able to save all the files on my 16G jump/thumb/flash drive that stopped working
Monday, September 19, 2011
Some youtube videos
Because it's Monday, and Monday of all days is one that needs a few good laughs, here are my favorite youtube videos from last week.
Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a great appreciation for a good youtube video.
1. Anything Ben Crane
This of course is the original. Ben Crane was known as a very serious personality on the PGA tour before this was released. He now has several other videos. Checkout the one titled On Pre Round for giggles too.
2. The dancing prisoners.
My friend Sarah introduced me to these Filipino prisoners last Monday, I have since become addicted.
They do monthly performances which are open to the public. If I lived in the Philippines I would so go.
3. BBC talking animals
There are tons of them, they are all funny.
Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a great appreciation for a good youtube video.
1. Anything Ben Crane
This of course is the original. Ben Crane was known as a very serious personality on the PGA tour before this was released. He now has several other videos. Checkout the one titled On Pre Round for giggles too.
2. The dancing prisoners.
My friend Sarah introduced me to these Filipino prisoners last Monday, I have since become addicted.
They do monthly performances which are open to the public. If I lived in the Philippines I would so go.
3. BBC talking animals
There are tons of them, they are all funny.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Fictive Families
The other day I was on the phone with Arwen, when she made an incredible insight on my life.
She has been doing a lot of training for her job lately and she came across the term "fictive family" also known as "fictive kin"
Fictive family or kin is a grouping of people who are not related to each other biologically or through marriage, but act as though they are.
For example, when Arwen and her husband have children, they will know me as Auntie Cate, the same term my niece and nephew use for me. It will not be till Arwen's kids are a little older that they will understand that I am not actually their aunt, but am rather a close friend of their parents.
Everywhere I have ever lived, until I moved to Kentucky, I have been in places where fictive family is incredibly common.
In the Middle East where I grew up, no one had their actual biological grandparents or aunts and uncles around, so other people, friends of my parents, fit into that role. It wasn't a conscious decision, it just kind of happened. I didn't spend holidays like Christmas or Easter with biological aunts, uncles, and cousins. I did however spend them with close friends of my parents.
In New England it is also very common to form fictive families.
Though my Aunt and Uncle lived just an hour from school, it was not uncommon for me to have several different options for any given holiday or long weekend if I wasn't going to their house.
My freshman year, I went home to northern NH with my friend Ty for spring break.
During that trip it was as if I was melded into her family. Later on, after Ty transferred to chiropractic school, I would sometimes call her when she was at her parent's house, her dad would answer the phone and we would talk for a good 15 minutes or more before Ty would demand the phone from him.
Then there is my camp family, the people I worked with in the White Mountains for 2 summers, and worked church retreats on weekends frequently in the winter with. They are part of my family too, as protective of me as my own brothers, they are the sisters I never had.
When I go to New England in the summer to visit, I visit my family, and I visit my friends, and I also visit my friends' families, because the reality is that in some ways, they are just as much my family, as my real family.
This fictive family is what I have really been missing here. The Easter celebrations with a mesh of people who don't look like they belong together, but do. The protective fathers and brothers, who protect you, as they protect their own daughters and sisters. I miss the older brothers who take you snowmobiling and go slower than they normally would because they know you are on the back and don't want to freak you out. I miss the sisters and moms, who laugh as they introduce you to the art of milking cows, and explain that it's okay to drink it without pasteurization. I miss the cousins who help you break into a locked room through a window to save the wedding dress, in pajamas, all while laughing so hard you are crying.
And just as these people have been fictive family to me, my family has been fictive family to others, inviting bachelors over to be a part of family dinners, making sure the grandparents with no kids or grandchildren around joined us for holidays. My mom is a notorious source of advice. I can't tell you how many times people have said "Cate I'm buying a new sewing machine, can I have your mom's number to talk to her?" or "Cate can I talk to your mom about how she handled... when you guys were kids?"
Arwen often says "I'll come pick you up at Brenda's, I want to see her anyway." My Aunt will often inquire about Arwen. They have become fictive family.
In Kentucky the biological family is an incredibly strong force, and that is not a bad thing, but it is much less common for people to invite outsiders into that unit.
I am thankful for this insight, a name to something I have been trying to explain for some time.
She has been doing a lot of training for her job lately and she came across the term "fictive family" also known as "fictive kin"
Fictive family or kin is a grouping of people who are not related to each other biologically or through marriage, but act as though they are.
For example, when Arwen and her husband have children, they will know me as Auntie Cate, the same term my niece and nephew use for me. It will not be till Arwen's kids are a little older that they will understand that I am not actually their aunt, but am rather a close friend of their parents.
Everywhere I have ever lived, until I moved to Kentucky, I have been in places where fictive family is incredibly common.
In the Middle East where I grew up, no one had their actual biological grandparents or aunts and uncles around, so other people, friends of my parents, fit into that role. It wasn't a conscious decision, it just kind of happened. I didn't spend holidays like Christmas or Easter with biological aunts, uncles, and cousins. I did however spend them with close friends of my parents.
In New England it is also very common to form fictive families.
Though my Aunt and Uncle lived just an hour from school, it was not uncommon for me to have several different options for any given holiday or long weekend if I wasn't going to their house.
My freshman year, I went home to northern NH with my friend Ty for spring break.
During that trip it was as if I was melded into her family. Later on, after Ty transferred to chiropractic school, I would sometimes call her when she was at her parent's house, her dad would answer the phone and we would talk for a good 15 minutes or more before Ty would demand the phone from him.
Then there is my camp family, the people I worked with in the White Mountains for 2 summers, and worked church retreats on weekends frequently in the winter with. They are part of my family too, as protective of me as my own brothers, they are the sisters I never had.
When I go to New England in the summer to visit, I visit my family, and I visit my friends, and I also visit my friends' families, because the reality is that in some ways, they are just as much my family, as my real family.
This fictive family is what I have really been missing here. The Easter celebrations with a mesh of people who don't look like they belong together, but do. The protective fathers and brothers, who protect you, as they protect their own daughters and sisters. I miss the older brothers who take you snowmobiling and go slower than they normally would because they know you are on the back and don't want to freak you out. I miss the sisters and moms, who laugh as they introduce you to the art of milking cows, and explain that it's okay to drink it without pasteurization. I miss the cousins who help you break into a locked room through a window to save the wedding dress, in pajamas, all while laughing so hard you are crying.
And just as these people have been fictive family to me, my family has been fictive family to others, inviting bachelors over to be a part of family dinners, making sure the grandparents with no kids or grandchildren around joined us for holidays. My mom is a notorious source of advice. I can't tell you how many times people have said "Cate I'm buying a new sewing machine, can I have your mom's number to talk to her?" or "Cate can I talk to your mom about how she handled... when you guys were kids?"
Arwen often says "I'll come pick you up at Brenda's, I want to see her anyway." My Aunt will often inquire about Arwen. They have become fictive family.
In Kentucky the biological family is an incredibly strong force, and that is not a bad thing, but it is much less common for people to invite outsiders into that unit.
I am thankful for this insight, a name to something I have been trying to explain for some time.
Friday, September 16, 2011
The Fly Saga Continues
Back in 2009 I wrote about the Dinosaurus fly we had. It was parading around my office until my coworker decided to put up fly paper.
Well the saga has continued. This summer we had "fly mansions" installed in the offices. All told about 20 some odd flies lost their lives in the sticky glue.
This week, the fly saga reached a level few if any have ever attained, with the arrival of the small bird.
That picture doesn't really do it justice.
Then it started flying around, it wasn't very fast, thankfully. The room was filled with one of our womens teams, they quickly cleared out into the hallway.
Thankfully one of our staff members was able to kill the fly.
We took this picture.
Yes that is a quarter.
Then we held a memorial service, because I mean seriously, a dead fly that big needs to be acknowledged.
And so the saga continues...
Well the saga has continued. This summer we had "fly mansions" installed in the offices. All told about 20 some odd flies lost their lives in the sticky glue.
This week, the fly saga reached a level few if any have ever attained, with the arrival of the small bird.
That picture doesn't really do it justice.
Then it started flying around, it wasn't very fast, thankfully. The room was filled with one of our womens teams, they quickly cleared out into the hallway.
Thankfully one of our staff members was able to kill the fly.
We took this picture.
Yes that is a quarter.
Then we held a memorial service, because I mean seriously, a dead fly that big needs to be acknowledged.
And so the saga continues...
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Thankful Thursday
675 the section of Bible I happen to be reading lining up with the circumstances of my life
676 reading a book that gave clarity to me
677 supportive family
678 an amazing dinner
679 a good nap
680 collective worship at church
681 communion
682 Burger King, the only business in my small town that remembered to lower their flag for the 10 year anniversary of 9/11
683 The reminder that we have been given SO much as American citizens
684 good communication
685 my small but awesome fictive family here (more on that later)
686 awesome lyrics in my head
687 hilarious videos
688 giving gifts
689 the first non-hectic day since students got back to campus
690 rain and the cooler weather it brought
691 time to accomplish things around my house
692 a plan to handle the things I can while I wait on His plans for my life
693 remembering a friend who passed away several years ago today
676 reading a book that gave clarity to me
677 supportive family
678 an amazing dinner
679 a good nap
680 collective worship at church
681 communion
682 Burger King, the only business in my small town that remembered to lower their flag for the 10 year anniversary of 9/11
683 The reminder that we have been given SO much as American citizens
684 good communication
685 my small but awesome fictive family here (more on that later)
686 awesome lyrics in my head
687 hilarious videos
688 giving gifts
689 the first non-hectic day since students got back to campus
690 rain and the cooler weather it brought
691 time to accomplish things around my house
692 a plan to handle the things I can while I wait on His plans for my life
693 remembering a friend who passed away several years ago today
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Anne Lamott- Traveling Mercies
The other day I made a quick pit stop on my very rushed lunch break. I ran into the library to grab a book to read. I didn't have much time, so when Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies caught my eye, I grabbed it. I left it in my car.
The next day, my plans for the day were completely rearranged when a student athlete needed immediate medical attention.
I spent most of the day sitting in the ER, and on our way in, I grabbed the book to take with me.
As I was reading, I came across the following section.
"Pammy and I basked in Lee's love like lizards on sunny rocks. Lee lay beside me in bed when I couldn't sleep and whispered the Twenty-third Psalm to me: "'The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want' - I am not wanting for anything, Annie. Let's find a green pasture inside us to rest in. Let's find the still waters within." She'd lay beside me quietly for a while as we listened to the tide of the lagoon lap against the dock. Then she'd go on: "'Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,' Annie, not 'Yea, as I end up living forever in the valley…'" And she prayed for the Good Shepherd to gather my thoughts like sheep. I did not quite believe in the power of her Mother-Father God, because my frightened lamby thoughts seemed to be stampeding toward a wall, piling up on each other's backs, bleating plaintively while their wild eyes darted around frantically. But I believed in Lee, and I felt her arms around me… and Lee would whisper me to sleep"
While I don't necessarily completely agree with all of Lamott's theology, the book is the story of her journey towards Christianity, and this section is recalling an experience she had as a child spending the night at a friend's whose' family was Christian Science.
The words really resonated in my life. It is easy, while in a set of circumstances to forget that those circumstances are temporary, and that we are not alone.
The 23rd Psalm goes on to say, "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me."
It's a part of scripture I know well. I memorized it for $1 when I was in 4th grade, the year when our lives were in total upheaval. It was the year Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait, the year we spent half living in my grandparents' house, half living in our own. It was the year that we went to public school in America and didn't come home for lunch. The year my dad was at home working, and my mom was with us in safety. It was the year we heard on the radio that a scud missile had landed on a warehouse, just behind our favorite pizza place and Baskin Robins, killing lots of troops.
And even then He was with us, and even now as I walk through this life, wondering where He is leading, He is with me.
The next day, my plans for the day were completely rearranged when a student athlete needed immediate medical attention.
I spent most of the day sitting in the ER, and on our way in, I grabbed the book to take with me.
As I was reading, I came across the following section.
"Pammy and I basked in Lee's love like lizards on sunny rocks. Lee lay beside me in bed when I couldn't sleep and whispered the Twenty-third Psalm to me: "'The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want' - I am not wanting for anything, Annie. Let's find a green pasture inside us to rest in. Let's find the still waters within." She'd lay beside me quietly for a while as we listened to the tide of the lagoon lap against the dock. Then she'd go on: "'Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,' Annie, not 'Yea, as I end up living forever in the valley…'" And she prayed for the Good Shepherd to gather my thoughts like sheep. I did not quite believe in the power of her Mother-Father God, because my frightened lamby thoughts seemed to be stampeding toward a wall, piling up on each other's backs, bleating plaintively while their wild eyes darted around frantically. But I believed in Lee, and I felt her arms around me… and Lee would whisper me to sleep"
While I don't necessarily completely agree with all of Lamott's theology, the book is the story of her journey towards Christianity, and this section is recalling an experience she had as a child spending the night at a friend's whose' family was Christian Science.
The words really resonated in my life. It is easy, while in a set of circumstances to forget that those circumstances are temporary, and that we are not alone.
The 23rd Psalm goes on to say, "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me."
It's a part of scripture I know well. I memorized it for $1 when I was in 4th grade, the year when our lives were in total upheaval. It was the year Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait, the year we spent half living in my grandparents' house, half living in our own. It was the year that we went to public school in America and didn't come home for lunch. The year my dad was at home working, and my mom was with us in safety. It was the year we heard on the radio that a scud missile had landed on a warehouse, just behind our favorite pizza place and Baskin Robins, killing lots of troops.
And even then He was with us, and even now as I walk through this life, wondering where He is leading, He is with me.
Friday, September 09, 2011
Thankful Thursday
660 clarity
661 a great conversation
662 God using me
663 a friend lending me her sewing machine
664 getting a lot of sewing projects done
665 a sense of accomplishment
666 a weekend off
667 hanging out with coworkers
668 watching football
669 Chip Kelly makes me laugh
670 delicious morning coffee
671 the lady at cracker barrel clipping the nails, wow.
672 the racer shuffle video
673 getting back into a normal running schedule
674 a long weekend entirely off from work
661 a great conversation
662 God using me
663 a friend lending me her sewing machine
664 getting a lot of sewing projects done
665 a sense of accomplishment
666 a weekend off
667 hanging out with coworkers
668 watching football
669 Chip Kelly makes me laugh
670 delicious morning coffee
671 the lady at cracker barrel clipping the nails, wow.
672 the racer shuffle video
673 getting back into a normal running schedule
674 a long weekend entirely off from work
Friday, September 02, 2011
The Bicycle Horn
Yesterday I went to visit a friend who had just recently gone through major surgery. She is in a lot of pain, and having to be cared for by others constantly.
For this self sufficient, independent, confident single woman, this has been difficult, and will continue to be difficult for a few more weeks.
Of course this brought us to the topic of community, and how it's at times like this that you realize who your true friends are, who your true community is. Who are the people who will be there for you when you call frantically to tell that you have less than a week to prepare for major surgery? Who are the people who will have those hard conversations with you? You know, like what you would want if something went wrong in surgery? Would you want your organs donated?
She had the conversation with her friend. Then she went into surgery, knowing it was not good, and then it was worse than she thought it was going to be.
Her first night home from the hospital, she needed help, her friend (and her friend's husband) were asleep in another room and couldn't hear her. The next day they went out and bought her one of those really loud bicycle horns, and put it by her bed, they didn't want her to have to be in that situation again.
Everyone who has come by to visit her has signed the horn, a physical representation of her community, coming together in her time of need, to answer her calls for help.
I think this is a great representation of how the body of Christ should work.
This past Sunday, my pastor preached about community. He talked about the Romanian orphanages during communism, how there were basically warehouses of kids with only their basic physiological needs met, food and water. They had no interactions with people, and they had failure to thrive.
He talked about how we as Christians need interaction with people, that we need to be connected to people. That spiritually we will fail to thrive if we don't.
There are times when I've pondered this exact set of circumstances my friend finds herself in. Living far from family, I have wondered who would come to be with me at the hospital, were I in a similar situation. I was once in a small group, thinking that I had connected, and then after a series of events realized that they wouldn't be there for me. I had given and given and given, but when some small but significant needs in my life arouse, I blew my bicycle horn. The problem was that no one was listening, they heard, they just didn't acknowledge. It's like they heard the horn in the middle of my night, and turned over and went back to sleep. Because they ignored the call, they didn't have to address the clearly communicated need.
I am fully aware that ultimately no person or group of people can meet all the needs in my life. And there are some needs that can only be fulfilled by our Lord. But Jesus calls us to be His hands and His feet to a dying world, we have to start by being His hands and feet to those around us.
Sometimes it's a lot easier to worry about the dying orphans in some far off land and throw money at them than to roll up our sleeves and get our hands and feet dirty with and for the people who are physically present in our lives.
Being in that small group was a very difficult time in my life, and I hung on to those facades of relationship longer than I should have, because I really wanted to be part of that community, and because I didn't really have any other community here. Eventually I chose to move on, they simply didn't have space for me. They were very quick to ask me to give physically and emotionally on a regular basis, but completely unwilling to allow me to receive when I was in need.
I have since found healthy community elsewhere, but I remember that time and think about it sometimes because I don't want to go through it again, and I don't want others to go through it, especially if there is a way I can prevent it.
I've seen Christians fail to thrive, because they lacked community, or were in destructive community.
Community, healthy community at least, takes time to develop, it doesn't happen overnight. It also takes effort, spending time with people, helping them through hard circumstances, being vulnerable yourself. Being in community is not always nice and clean and pretty. We are human, it's just part of the deal.
For me, it's much easier to hear other people blowing their bicycle horn and respond than it is for me to pick up the horn and blow it myself. Being vulnerable and expressing need is not something that comes easy to me. Having been through that experience has made it harder for me to be vulnerable. I have had to force myself to connect with people. It has at times left me wondering "is this going to turn out like it did last time?"
The more I have thought about this over the week, the more I have realized, that each of us has to be willing to both blow our bicycle horn when we are in need, and get out of bed when someone else is blowing theirs and respond to the need. That is the only way true community can be established. And each time we respond to the needs of others, we sign their horn, a stamp on their life that God is still faithful, that He provides through His people.
For this self sufficient, independent, confident single woman, this has been difficult, and will continue to be difficult for a few more weeks.
Of course this brought us to the topic of community, and how it's at times like this that you realize who your true friends are, who your true community is. Who are the people who will be there for you when you call frantically to tell that you have less than a week to prepare for major surgery? Who are the people who will have those hard conversations with you? You know, like what you would want if something went wrong in surgery? Would you want your organs donated?
She had the conversation with her friend. Then she went into surgery, knowing it was not good, and then it was worse than she thought it was going to be.
Her first night home from the hospital, she needed help, her friend (and her friend's husband) were asleep in another room and couldn't hear her. The next day they went out and bought her one of those really loud bicycle horns, and put it by her bed, they didn't want her to have to be in that situation again.
Everyone who has come by to visit her has signed the horn, a physical representation of her community, coming together in her time of need, to answer her calls for help.
I think this is a great representation of how the body of Christ should work.
This past Sunday, my pastor preached about community. He talked about the Romanian orphanages during communism, how there were basically warehouses of kids with only their basic physiological needs met, food and water. They had no interactions with people, and they had failure to thrive.
He talked about how we as Christians need interaction with people, that we need to be connected to people. That spiritually we will fail to thrive if we don't.
There are times when I've pondered this exact set of circumstances my friend finds herself in. Living far from family, I have wondered who would come to be with me at the hospital, were I in a similar situation. I was once in a small group, thinking that I had connected, and then after a series of events realized that they wouldn't be there for me. I had given and given and given, but when some small but significant needs in my life arouse, I blew my bicycle horn. The problem was that no one was listening, they heard, they just didn't acknowledge. It's like they heard the horn in the middle of my night, and turned over and went back to sleep. Because they ignored the call, they didn't have to address the clearly communicated need.
I am fully aware that ultimately no person or group of people can meet all the needs in my life. And there are some needs that can only be fulfilled by our Lord. But Jesus calls us to be His hands and His feet to a dying world, we have to start by being His hands and feet to those around us.
Sometimes it's a lot easier to worry about the dying orphans in some far off land and throw money at them than to roll up our sleeves and get our hands and feet dirty with and for the people who are physically present in our lives.
Being in that small group was a very difficult time in my life, and I hung on to those facades of relationship longer than I should have, because I really wanted to be part of that community, and because I didn't really have any other community here. Eventually I chose to move on, they simply didn't have space for me. They were very quick to ask me to give physically and emotionally on a regular basis, but completely unwilling to allow me to receive when I was in need.
I have since found healthy community elsewhere, but I remember that time and think about it sometimes because I don't want to go through it again, and I don't want others to go through it, especially if there is a way I can prevent it.
I've seen Christians fail to thrive, because they lacked community, or were in destructive community.
Community, healthy community at least, takes time to develop, it doesn't happen overnight. It also takes effort, spending time with people, helping them through hard circumstances, being vulnerable yourself. Being in community is not always nice and clean and pretty. We are human, it's just part of the deal.
For me, it's much easier to hear other people blowing their bicycle horn and respond than it is for me to pick up the horn and blow it myself. Being vulnerable and expressing need is not something that comes easy to me. Having been through that experience has made it harder for me to be vulnerable. I have had to force myself to connect with people. It has at times left me wondering "is this going to turn out like it did last time?"
The more I have thought about this over the week, the more I have realized, that each of us has to be willing to both blow our bicycle horn when we are in need, and get out of bed when someone else is blowing theirs and respond to the need. That is the only way true community can be established. And each time we respond to the needs of others, we sign their horn, a stamp on their life that God is still faithful, that He provides through His people.
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Thankful Thursday 9/1/2011
643 high school football games
644 time catching up with good friends
645 last minute Friday night plans
646 going to bed without setting an alarm
647 an awesome dentist who always answers the phone
648 being able to fill in last minute to serve at church
649 winging it with 1st grade Sunday school and then realizing that they got it
650 helpers
651 encouragement from friends
652 constructive conversations
653 that all of my friends and family made it through hurricane Irene with little or no damage to their property
654 a friend's dad going home after 360 days in the hospital
655 possibilities
656 a phenomenal physician
657 relief from an intense ear infection
658 that a friend made it through difficult surgery
659 reminder of what community should look like and be
644 time catching up with good friends
645 last minute Friday night plans
646 going to bed without setting an alarm
647 an awesome dentist who always answers the phone
648 being able to fill in last minute to serve at church
649 winging it with 1st grade Sunday school and then realizing that they got it
650 helpers
651 encouragement from friends
652 constructive conversations
653 that all of my friends and family made it through hurricane Irene with little or no damage to their property
654 a friend's dad going home after 360 days in the hospital
655 possibilities
656 a phenomenal physician
657 relief from an intense ear infection
658 that a friend made it through difficult surgery
659 reminder of what community should look like and be
Sunday, August 28, 2011
The Jersey Shore isn't real
Recently Abercrombie told the members of the show Jersey Shore that they would pay them a significant sum of money to stop wearing Abercrombie apparel.
What the people at Abercrombie know is that Jersey Shore isn't really how people in America typically behave and that it was giving a bad image to their products.
When most Americans watch shows like the Jersey Shore, or The Office, or Seinfeld, or Sex in the City, or Friends, or Baywatch, they might enjoy the show, but they fully realize that for the most part it is fiction. There may some elements of truth in the show, but life for most Americans isn't how it is on the show.
Ironically though, we export those shows to countries around the world, where people don't realize that the show isn't an accurate portrayal of life in America. Television and movies are one of the biggest exports out of this country.
What this means is that there maybe people in say China, who have never ever interacted with an American, but they've seen countless episodes of Jersey Shore, and therefore think that it is an accurate portrayal of the average American.
Ooops.
This is the exact reason that I find the movie Borat, though generally inappropriate, completely HILARIOUS. I grew up listening to third world nationals imitating the phrases they heard on whatever pirated version of the latest blockbuster they had just watched.
Think of the confusion when they are all of a sudden interacting with an American tourist, and their vocabulary consists of the expert phrases they learned in school like "do you have any turnips?" and of course the cool phrases they learned from....
Which brings me to my experience over the last several days.
I interact with international students on a regular basis. It's something I really enjoy.
So over the past week I have been taking care of a student who is a freshman, fresh off the plane, who has pretty decent English. And he doesn't realize the F bomb and S bomb aren't really appropriate in places like, say the waiting area at a large clinic.
For all that I need to sit him down and gently say "hey in America, those words aren't really very appropriate in this setting" I don't want to embarrass him, which he would be, he is trying hard to be cool. (also a word he uses a lot) And quite frankly, I think it's not really his fault, it's our fault, as a society, for projecting that image and not giving an accurate portrayal of life in this country. But overtime, he will be embarrassed when he accidentally seriously offends someone, without intending to. So we will have the conversation, but I won't tell him that it's also not cool to say the double bye because it's hilarious, and one of my favorite things about new international students. It cracks me up, every time, when they end the conversation by saying "okay Cate, bye bye"
What the people at Abercrombie know is that Jersey Shore isn't really how people in America typically behave and that it was giving a bad image to their products.
When most Americans watch shows like the Jersey Shore, or The Office, or Seinfeld, or Sex in the City, or Friends, or Baywatch, they might enjoy the show, but they fully realize that for the most part it is fiction. There may some elements of truth in the show, but life for most Americans isn't how it is on the show.
Ironically though, we export those shows to countries around the world, where people don't realize that the show isn't an accurate portrayal of life in America. Television and movies are one of the biggest exports out of this country.
What this means is that there maybe people in say China, who have never ever interacted with an American, but they've seen countless episodes of Jersey Shore, and therefore think that it is an accurate portrayal of the average American.
Ooops.
This is the exact reason that I find the movie Borat, though generally inappropriate, completely HILARIOUS. I grew up listening to third world nationals imitating the phrases they heard on whatever pirated version of the latest blockbuster they had just watched.
Think of the confusion when they are all of a sudden interacting with an American tourist, and their vocabulary consists of the expert phrases they learned in school like "do you have any turnips?" and of course the cool phrases they learned from....
Which brings me to my experience over the last several days.
I interact with international students on a regular basis. It's something I really enjoy.
So over the past week I have been taking care of a student who is a freshman, fresh off the plane, who has pretty decent English. And he doesn't realize the F bomb and S bomb aren't really appropriate in places like, say the waiting area at a large clinic.
For all that I need to sit him down and gently say "hey in America, those words aren't really very appropriate in this setting" I don't want to embarrass him, which he would be, he is trying hard to be cool. (also a word he uses a lot) And quite frankly, I think it's not really his fault, it's our fault, as a society, for projecting that image and not giving an accurate portrayal of life in this country. But overtime, he will be embarrassed when he accidentally seriously offends someone, without intending to. So we will have the conversation, but I won't tell him that it's also not cool to say the double bye because it's hilarious, and one of my favorite things about new international students. It cracks me up, every time, when they end the conversation by saying "okay Cate, bye bye"
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