Limbo

This weekend I was really craving some juice from my juicer.  Nothing compares to fresh juicer juice. 

The problem is that the beloved juicer, a Christmas gift from my parents, is somewhere in here.

It's been in there, with most of the rest of my stuff since a beautiful Saturday morning in February when the men in my Sunday school class, along with my dad, packed this space full in less than an hour.  I am forever grateful to them.

Since then I have been living with an amazing family, and in limbo.  God has supplied for my needs, with a roof, a warm bed, a place to prepare my weird food. 

This time living in between has been good.  I have been forced to evaluate what stuff is essential, and what stuff is not.  I have been thrust back into living in community, which I desperately needed.

I have learned some interesting facts, like that in certain states you can't use your PO Box # as the address for your dental insurance, because it's illegal.  That was something I never expected.

For all that I have loved this time in between one place and another, I am looking forward to the day when I will have a new permanent place to live, and all this stuff unpacked, and my juicer.

Caution: Adventure Ahead

It's been a while since I posted here. There has been so much going on in my life and I decided it was prudent not to post anything . In less than a month I will take off from this little west Kentucky town.

Where I am going I am not exactly sure.

Yes, if you know me well you know that this is completely out of character for me.

The back story is this: about 2 years ago I started praying for direction and clarity. I felt like my time here was coming to a close. I was tired of spending holidays alone, missing my niece and nephew's birthdays. I wanted to be close to friends who like to hike, who are up for random road trips and adventures. I wanted to be in a place where there might be some single guys my age. I know, this is a lot to ask for.

A year ago I mentioned this plan to 2 close friends, they jumped for joy and said "we have been praying you would come to this decision." I started looking for jobs and I put my house on the market. It sold very quickly. I moved in temporarily with friends and moved my stuff into storage. My parents took my dog for the time being. (I am now fearful they may keep her forever)

I still don't have a job lined up, but God has given immense clarity, it is time for change.

I have 5 weeks of vacation accumulated, I have been given the opportunity to use it before moving on to my next place of employment. I am going on a road trip to New England. I did do this last summer, but this time it will be different.

There are somethings I have set-up, like spending Friday night-Monday of Memorial day weekend in Pennsylvania with good friends, and meeting another friend in NYC for the day on Memorial day.

Mostly I will be enjoying time with friends and family, going to the beach, hiking Mt Washington, and learning to slow down and rest.

I am hoping that during those 5 weeks I will have interviews, and hopefully job offers.

I am hoping during those 5 weeks that I get to laugh with friends,

and eat meals with my family. I plan to randomly pull off the highway when I see signs for things like civil war battlefields, or random historical sites.

I plan to drop in on friends at work with coffee and a smile.

I plan on reading some good books and helping my Aunt and Uncle in the garden. I plan on finally eating at my cousin's restaurant.  I plan on watching the sun rise over the Atlantic. I plan on visiting my great aunt and meeting another cousin in Boston for fun. 

Mostly I plan on not having a really structured plan, and slowing down a bit, except when I go out for runs.

The family I am currently living with suggested that I update my blog along the way with pictures, silly stories, profound epiphanies, etc... I thought that was an excellent idea. So here it goes...

Catching up on Thankful Thursdays

It's hard to believe that I haven't updated this list since 2/2, but considering all that has happened in the month of February, it's understandable

1002 celebrating my actual birthday with my parents
1003 the freedom to go where God leads because I am no longer a home owner
1004 the hard work done by my parents to get everything packed up
1005 the amazing church family that was so willing to step in and help me move
1006 the constant reminder of God's timing in the selling of my house considering the economy

1007 the reminder that asking for help is an opportunity for others to serve
1008 an opportunity to reevaluate what stuff is really needed and what just weighs you down

1009 a whole 10 days with my parents
1010 living with people again
1011 Valentines Day flowers to remind this single girl that she is not alone
1012 the freedom that comes after doing hard things that needed to be done
1013 birthday blessings from friends around the world
1014 birthday breakfast for a friend
1015 a terrible experience having blood taken reminding me of sweet woman who was part of my church family growing up, and who saved me from a lot of terrible blood draw experiences as a child

1016 a reason to run
1017 the celebration of a really great year with lots of changes
1018 Jon Acuff blogs about singleness
1019 being forced out of my comfort zone
1020 trained cats
1021 the conviction that I need to use my gifts more
1022 encouragement
1023 this song on the radio

Thankful Thursday 2/2/2012

1 Thessalonians 5:18 says give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

990 fresh mountain air
991 an opportunity to present at a national meeting for my profession
992 a change of pace for the afternoon
993 YouTube hip-hop workout videos
994 a handicapped accessible hotel room
995

996 the story of Naaman in 2 Kings and the reminder that God asks for obedience
997 my brother being able to go be with my Nana when she had to go to the hospital due to a fall

998 that the injuries from the fall were minor
999 that she was in the hospital already when she got pneumonia which was quickly realized and treated

1000 that my niece is okay after an accident that took her to the emergency for some wound closure

1001 that my brother and sister in law have helpful neighbors

Thankful Thursday 1/26/2012

977 a buyer for my house
978 a place to live for a couple months
979 a winning streak
980 Godly advice
981 Adoption
982 safety during a storm
983 an awesome morning run with my running buddy
984 a clear winter night
985 the John ringtone
986 awesome neighbors to watch my dog
987 the reminder that God is with me no matter what comes
988 not having to rely on my own strength to do hard things
989 peace

Cooking School

One of the things I love about my family is that when we do all get together, which isn't often, we do fun things. We try not to over plan, but we also try to have a few activities arranged in advance. We have learned from extended family gatherings in the past that it not healthy to sit around the whole time talking, debating, arguing.

So when my parents and I were planning on descending on my brother in San Diego for Christmas, my brother suggested that we spend one of the evenings at cooking school. It was an activity he had already done with his girlfriend and they had a great time.

He sent us a list of possible cooking sessions to pick from, and we ended up picking one that involved making cocktail party food and of course cocktails. Yes it's true that I don't drink, but the rest of my family does occasionally, and the food on the menu sounded awesome.

We booked our class, and on December 21, off we went.

It was a phenomenal family event. Everyone had a great time, we interacted a ton with each other and other people in the class, and we all learned some awesome new recipes.

It was our first night together as a family and it set the tone for a laid back, fun Christmas. I don't know what your family does when they all get together, but if you are looking for an awesome activity for the adults, I highly recommend cooking school.

Thankful Thursday 1/19/2012

960 good communication with cousins
961 my coworker's son at work due to a snow day
962 a sweet note from my uncle in the mail
963 a 1988 Saudi Olympic team pin
964 dinner and a movie with the girls
965 the buzz of a nationally ranked team in a small town
966 God's perfect timing
967 a really great run
968 an offer
969 phone chats at the dog park with the BFF
970 practicing patience
971 hope
972 waking up with favorite Psalms running through my head
973 the amazing group of Godly women, near and far, that have been placed in my life
974 reflecting on a really great 30th year
975 an opportunity to comfort a grieving friend
976 eternal perspective

Thankful Thursday 1/12/2012

946 amazingly warm weather in January
947 a peaceful run on a busy day
948 my neighbors who stepped in to watch my dog when she became an escape artist
949 choosing to come home instead of stay late
950 watching the game with friends on TV
951 being in my own church on Sunday
952 a sermon that was exactly what I needed to hear
953 Communion with my church family
954 early morning swim time
955 low key laid back mornings
956 a hunger for God's Word
957 peace amidst an uncertain future
958 friends who don't just talk about serving the poor and broken, but actually do it
959 an attitude adjustment
960 the courage to tell people I care about, that I care about them, I haven't always been very good at that
961 reconnecting with old friends
962 A loving God who hears our prayers
963 Jewelry that reminds me to pray for friends and family who are serving God overseas

960

Thankful Thursday 1/5/2012

936 game night with friends

937 single friends to encourage me in my faith
938 Bible study while on the road
939 a great friend who watches my dog while I'm gone and texts me photos of her

940 successfully staying on my eating plan while traveling
941 God's gift of a new year
942 hope about the future
943 hard working real estate agent
944 an afternoon off to use my new sewing machine

945 rest

Could you do it?

If you knew that the foods you eat regularly and love were major contributors to a chronic illness in your life, would you be willing and able to cut those foods out?

What if those foods were major parts of the normal diet in our society?

Recently I came to the realization that by eliminating certain foods from my diet, I might be able to have much better control of my allergies and asthma.

I had been reading about it for a while, this crazy diet, really lifestyle. I knew a couple friends who had switched. Over Christmas I decided it was time to test it out, this crazy thing called the paleo diet.

I was visiting my family, two of them had already switched, which made it much easier.

That's a grainless, dairyless, legumeless Christmas dinner right there.

Currently I'm on day 15 since I eliminated all grains, most dairy, and legumes, and I've already started to notice some decreases in my allergy symptoms.

I'm anxious to see if it continues to decrease me allergies and asthma.

I'll keep you updated on how it goes.

In the meantime, I'm actually really enjoying having to be creative and eat foods that weren't part of my regular on the go, grab something fast food. And for clarification, I don't mean fast food restaurants, I mean fast and easy to throw together food like sandwiches.

If I was a Suzie homemaker...

Last spring I had a great realization. I realized I was putting a lot of things on hold because in my head, people don't do those things till they are married. I blogged about it.

I committed to living here and now, and not putting my life on hold because I wasn't married, even if it meant doing things at the end of a long day of work when I was tired.

I have always said "if I was a stay at home mom I would make my own... from scratch"
The list of things I would make from scratch is long.

So this week I decided to make my own laundry detergent for a variety of reason.
For some reason I thought it would be a long and complicated process.

Then I found a recipe on Pinterest.

I found out that it's not really that hard, and it doesn't really take very much time, and it would be WAY better for my super sensitive skin.

After a full day of work, I came home and I grated my bar soap.

and added water and washing soda and washing powder...

and while it was cooking I made my own disinfectant spray.

and I succeeded

and yes I have used my homemade laundry detergent to wash my clothes.

It felt very satisfying.

Catching up on Thankful Thursday 12/22 and 12/29

911 solutions to my inability to wear earrings because of my metal allergies
912 getting to wear my Saudi gold
913 getting to drive around and see where my mom went to college
914 time to be crafty
915 getting to actually watch the Pats
916 safe drive to the airport
917 Cooking school with the fam {more on that later)
918 a possible way to treat my allergies and asthma that doesn't involve steroids

920 a laid back, drama free Christmas
921 a day with just my parents
922 one on one time with my little brother
923 one on one time with his girlfriend
924 my mom's laughter while getting pedicures

925 an awesome church on Christmas eve
926 getting to watch my niece and nephew open their gifts via skype
927 Christmas carols, all the verses, and the profound truths they convey
928 Sunset run with my brother

929 Sunrise run

930 decorating a Christmas tree with my family for the first time in years

931 taking in history
932 hearing stories from veterans who served our family

933 Sushi with the fam

934 God placing people in my path to encourage me as I make scary choices

935 Peace in my heart amidst the drama surrounding me

Packing Cubes

As I was wrapping presents today, I was thinking about the best presents I've ever given or received. I feel the need to highlight a few.

Last year for Christmas I got a gift from my best friend Arwen that I was excited about. I didn't realize how it would transform my life.

What I opened on Christmas morning was a package of packing cubes.
You can buy them here.

I had always had a problem with suitcase explosion. I would try to be strategic about my packing, putting my PJs on the top, but inevitably, within 24 hours of the start of a trip, the contents of the suitcase would be in a huge pile surrounding the suitcase.

After receiving the cubes, I tried several different arrangements over the course of the last year. I've finally come to a packing plan that works for me.

Specific cubes for whole specific outfits, socks and all. The picture below is the cube for the bus ride home outfit. I carry it into the gym with me before the game. It's amazing.

And now my suitcase looks like this.

What's more amazing than the fact that my suitcase starts out like this, is that it stays relatively like this for the duration of the trip. And yes that is a candle, yes it goes on the road with me.

Looking for a great gift for that person who travels a ton? Look no further than the packing cube.

Entertaining Angels

I used to squirm about the idea of having people over to my house, mainly because I tend to compare myself to my mom in the area of hospitality. Anyone who knows my mom knows that she most definitely has the gift of hospitality.

I realized about a year ago that comparing myself to her was ridiculous. She is definitely one of the most generous people I know, but she also stayed at home almost my entire childhood, and she had domestic help in the form of what we Aramco Brats like to call the houseboy.

Our houseboy, Maurti, came twice a week, he vacuumed at lot, he did laundry, he washed the car, he did whatever my mom had on a list for him to do.

I don't have a houseboy, and I work more than 40 hours a week.

I started having people over more, but I also spent my free time beforehand trying to vacuum a lot.

Then life happened.

Then the girls in my Bible study wanted to have a function at my house, a game night for Christian single people we know. No couples allowed. No children allowed. No toddlers allowed.

I said okay and we started planning it.
We invited people.

THEN MY WORK SCHEDULE CHANGED. SHOCKER.

Then they were throwing a party at my house that I was going to be over an hour late to.
I didn't have time to scrub and clean and vacuum, and make sure there was lots of extra toilet paper in the bathroom, or to even clean the bathroom.

AND SOME HOW I WAS OKAY WITH THAT.

Truly a Christmas Miracle.

So Tuesday night I called to make sure they had gotten into my house okay, and then to tell them that all I had to drink was eggnog, and that I hadn't gotten around to making the spinach dip I was suppose to make.

And then an hour after the party started, I showed up. I walked into my house and they exclaimed "Cate, you're home! How was work!?" And it was just what I needed after a really long day at work. There were people I didn't know there. I thought for a second "Oh no, this is their first impression of me, my carpet has some dog hair on it, I only vacuumed it last week." And then I let it go, and had a great time.

I am not my mother. One day maybe, if I ever am blessed to be a stay at home mom, I will be able to throw parties remotely close to what my mom throws, and they will be awesome.
I am not in a season in life where I can do that right now, and that's okay.

But I can remember that the things I have aren't really mine, they were intrusted to me to bless others.
And I can remember that hospitality has many different looks.
And I can remember Hebrews 13:2 which says "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."

Thankful Thursday 12/15/2011

890 The sunset of 12/8/11

891 The ability to text photos

Making it as if Arwen is here shopping with me

892 Packing up and sending Christmas presents to my niece and nephew and smiling about what their reactions will be, I love giving gifts.

I love them

893 consistently good quiet times in God's Word
894 baptisms
895 Traditional Christmas music live with choir and ensemble
896 CS Lewis quotes
897 The constant reminder of the REASON we celebrate Christmas
896 safe travels
897 the reminder that my identity lies fully in Christ, and not in what I do, or whether we are win or not

898 unlimited cell phone minutes on the weekend
899 encouragement from friends
900 time away from the constant needs of lots of student athletes I work with to focus on the needs of just one
901 the kindness of musicians who play in our arena and use our locker rooms
902 amazing doctors who are so incredibly gifted and use their abilities to bring healing

903 my coworker's strange love for post-it-notes
904 this video


905 The reminder that God answers prayers
906 a fun night of games and hanging out with single people who aren't in college
907 that God has done so much in my heart that I let people throw a party at my house knowing I would be an hour or so late to it ( more on that later)
908 my biological family of missionaries and third culture kids, I LOVE that my cousin's sons' LOVE this song


909 time to craft
910 the sunrise on 12/9/11

Rejoice and be glad in it.

They are addicting, these websites of ideas.
Friends told me they would be.
If I wanted to, I could spend hours sifting through craft projects that would be fun, if I ever had the time. I could plan my vacations for the next 500 years. I could pin and stumble every detail of the wedding I hope to have someday. I could covet the houses of people I will never know.

Last night, as I finally caved and perused the pictures on pinterest, one thought kept coming to mind, how could I possibly spend that much money on my house, knowing that half a world away, and in my own town, people are scraping by trying to put food on the table.

How could I justify a walk in closet that is thousands of square feet, when I know there are children sleeping on a dirt floor under a tarp? How can I want granite counter tops, when my old formica (or whatever) are just fine and I've held orphan babies in Africa, wishing as a 21 year-old that I could bring them home to my apartment?

I don't think it's wrong to have or want nice things. I don't think it's wrong to remodel a completely dysfunctional kitchen. I don't think it's wrong to take nice vacations, or have nice clothing. But where is the line between need, and want, and excess?

Don't get me wrong, there are great recipes and craft ideas on both stumbleupon and pinterest. I found the mug brownies that way.

But where is the balance between accumulating and decorating, and living and giving? And I'm not talking about cute do it yourself gifts for all your friends.

The Christmas season here in America always seems to heighten my awareness off it. Having grown up so far removed from the Christmas mall shopping frenzy, it overwhelms me.

Recently I read this blog. Jen Hatmaker talks about how she and her husband have changed how they do Christmas. Each person in the family gets something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. Her children also get something to give away.

Even more extreme than Jen Hatmaker was this blog post by Ann Voskamp, whose family for 10 years has stopped giving gifts to each other and instead gives gifts to people who don't have what they need.

I don't have kids, I'm not even married, so I don't have to make decisions about how I will create Christmas for kids.

But I do have a choice about how many commercials I watch, how much window shopping I do, how much planning of things that God hasn't brought into my life yet I choose to participate in. I can choose not to buy into the idea that the amount of love you have for someone is a direct correlation to how much money you spend on their gifts. I can choose not to compete in that race to get the best gift for one person or another, knowing that my worth as a person has no dependency on whether my gift was the most appreciated or coveted, or not.

I can choose to live my life here and now, focused on what God has for me today, or I can miss all of that because I'm wishing life was different.

It's not easy, but today and hopefully tomorrow I will choose to focus on what He has for me, and not compare myself to others. This is the day He has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Thankful Thursday 12/8/2011

875 being home to go to church on a Sunday
876 the friends who called or texted to check on me when I was sick
877 a doctor who knows me well enough to just believe me and call in drugs
878 just hanging out on a Sunday night
879 the inspiring friends I have the great privilege of knowing, who spend their lives running hard after God, and daily impacting eternity

880 my BFF's husband who gives straightforward advice about dating, and also waves at the phone with his feet

881 being home to dig into the Word with the girls on a Monday night

882 God just completely showing me that He still works miracles in people's hearts, and that I shouldn't ever think anyone is ever beyond His help

883 celebrating the accomplishments of my students
884 that 2, yes 2!!!! young women that I know are getting baptized this Sunday! 2!
885 long talks with my mom
886 time to clean my house and catch up
887 sitting writing Christmas cards, smiling about various people that God has blessed my life with

888 profound moments in the grocery store checkout

889 this video

kindness

This semester I have really enjoyed the group of students I have had the privilege of teaching. One day about mid semester two of them hung around after class. They wanted to tell me how much they were enjoying my class, how it was their favorite. I tell you this not because I think I am a good instructor, but because that made my whole day. I can't tell you how much those words encouraged me. I walked to my car with extra bounce in my step. I thought to myself, how often do I think these things about others, but I don't take the time to tell them. I am so thankful for those 2 students.

I started to make a point of consciously telling people when I was inspired by them, or encouraged by them. But it was all with people I know and interact with regularly.

The other day I went to the grocery store. I had nothing in my fridge. I had nothing in my cabinets. I'd been gone so much.

I was running through the store with glee. I'm not joking, I was so excited to be eating foods that I like. Also there was pomelo in the store, which is my favorite fruit other than mango, and which no one else seems to ever have heard of.

I got to the checkout line with my cart full of greek yogurt and produce. The lady in front of me was unloading her cart. She had lots of meats, beef, chicken, salmon. She had lots of beans, pintos, blackeyed peas, etc... She had regular milk, and almond milk. She had veggies. She had cheese cloth. She had a serious look on her face. She kept consulting her list.

I said "I don't know what you are cooking at your house, but I want to come over to eat."

She smiled a sheepish grin, and then in a thick accent said "we don't eat out much." And she smiled through the whole rest of her checkout process.

Then as she walked away she said "I hope you have a very nice day."

And I thought, "seriously Cate, how hard was that? Why don't I do things like that, say things like that more often?"

How hard is it to look up from what we are doing and notice others?
How hard is it to say a kind word to a stranger? How can I make this a habit and not an anomaly?

I think the answer is to make a conscious effort, and hope that over time it comes more naturally, becomes second nature.

In Luke 10, just before Jesus tells the story of the good Samaritan, he is asked what one must do to inherit eternal life. Jesus' answer is simple, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind. Secondly He says we should love our neighbor as ourselves. His answer is quickly followed by a second question, who is my neighbor? To this question, He answers with the story of the good Samaritan. I think most of us know it. If not, you can read it here.

I think that to love my neighbor involves more than just saying kind words, but maybe that is a good place to start.

Hurt

A couple weeks ago, I was reading along as Ann Voskamp went with her husband to Ecuador. All of her posts from that trip with Compassion really convicted me, but one in particular had me tearing up.

As I thought about how little I do in my own life, with the time and resources I have been given, I was struck by something else. There are lots of hurting people the world over. Here I was sad for a young man I am likely to never meet. How many hurting people are there in my community, how many hurting people do I interact with daily, without even noticing? Who is their voice? Who will help them?

There is suffering, there are hurting people all around us. We like to sterilize our lives from it. We like to pretend that there aren't hurting people in close proximity to us. We like to section them off, not drive down those streets. If we pretend they aren't there, we don't have to do something. Doing something generally costs us something. It costs time, finances, emotions. Doing something involves risk and personal sacrifice.

We like to send money, or travel to foreign countries for a week or two to help hurting people. That isn't a bad thing. When we use those trips and that money as an excuse to ignore the hurting people in our backyard though, that is a problem.

I think sometimes it's easier to worry about the hurting people half a world away, and give money, than it is to worry about the hurting people who live in my neighborhood, and get my hands dirty and my heart involved...

Thankful Thursday 12/1/2011

859 No matter how long it's been since we talked, no matter the distance between us, my Saudi family is always there for each other when we need each other

860 The gift of donated organs
861 The peace that comes when someone who died was clear about their faith beforehand
862 Remembering hilarious things my brother has done, that make me laugh (The "shark attack", the lawyer on the beach, the change at Sully's)

You know, cause most family photos look like that...
863 a morning to sleep in and catch up on some much needed rest
864 getting to help a friend with homework on a topic I love
865 God's clear hand in the midst of really hard times
866 a movie night with some of the girls
867 God's Word encouraging me about circumstances I currently find myself in
868 smooth travel
869 caterers showing up
870 FROZEN YOGURT
871 an encouraging message from a friend reminding me to wait patiently on the Lord
872 This Louie Giglio video


873 God really giving me clarity
874 the reminder that it's not what we say, it's how we live