Be forewarned!

Arwen is coming to visit this coming week. No matter the circumstances, whenever Arwen comes to visit, or I go to visit her, it's always an adventure.

We have climbed mountains together, successfully.

We have hitchhiked together.

We have seen the sites in Nashville together.

We have gone to art museums together.

We have been on T cars in Boston together whilst crazy man covered in goo tried to kick group of young lads and old lady's groceries fell over and oranges were rolling about. (Sorry, no picture, we were scared for our lives)

We have stood in the standing room only section at Red Sox games

(yes this was the time the confused lady from North Dakota had to have an explanation of standing room only)

How can one forget the Bondi wedding incident of 2002? When a certain male called randomly and unannounced requesting a ride from the train station, yes we did go get him, yes I had hot rollers in my hair. Yes later we discovered that hot rollers in my hair = VERY OUT OF CONTROL BIG HAIR. Yes said male was sitting in our apartment living room while we freaked out in the bathroom.

There was the awesome time back in 2006 when this happened to my car while going to the airport to pick her up.


No one can forget the brownie incident of 2003, I'll tell that story another time.

We have gone line dancing IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

Katy was there too

We have eaten a lot of seafood

And canolis from Mike's

We have gotten lost a lot.

We have watched minor league pitcher throw 100 mph strikes, with my uncle.

We have facebook stalked the one she will soon call husband. (Well maybe I stalked, she laid on the bed yelling "NO DON'T SEND HIM A MESSAGE" good thing I did)

The picture above is her dad as Dan is asking for permission to marry her.


We have laughed till we cried.

This year, the adventure involves Susie, and basketball. There is no telling what is about to happen. Put your seatbelts on people.

So I Joined A CSA

Last spring I started reading a book called "An Eater's Manifesto" by Michael Pollan. At the same time I went to visit my brother and his girlfriend in California.

For a long time I have been concerned with where my food comes from, how it is prepared, what I am actually putting in my body.
In the summer I got most of my produce from the local farmers market. I bought free range eggs and chicken.

I had heard about a CSA, but I figured that I wouldn't be able to find one in Murray. I also didn't exactly know how it would workout with the amount of traveling I tend to do, and the fact that I am single.

CSA stands for community supported agriculture. The basic premise is that local produce from local farmers is a win win. The local farmers get financial help, and the produce isn't transported halfway around the world. Buying local produce decreases a person's carbon footprint, it also decreases the chemicals the produce is subjected to in transit. Another aspect of the win win situation is that I am getting my produce from a local farmer, so I go out to the farm, I build a relationship with them, I can see for myself that it's actually organic.

The reality is that the majority of produce at the grocery store that is sold as organic, isn't truly. If you want to know more about why that is, I can point you to several sources.

The way a CSA works is that typically the consumer pays the farmer before the season a lump sum for the specific period of time. The farmer then provides produce in season for that time period. You are basically buying a portion or share of the crop. If the crop fails, then you as the share holder, don't get produce.

While I was out in California visiting my brother, I went with his girlfriend to pick up their weekly produce allotment. I got to see first hand what it was like, how much food they got, etc...

When I came home, I was determined to figure out how to participate in Western Kentucky. I got on the internet, and low and behold, right here in my county there is an organic farm that has a CSA.

I was so excited, I called and I joined. It ended up costing me $20 a week, and I didn't buy hardly any other produce. My farmers also have meat and assorted other things (maple syrup, sorgum molasses) that I can buy when I go to pick up my veggies, it's all grass fed, no hormones, and it's cheaper than the normal meat (the stuff with the hormones and what not) at the grocery store. OH and did I say it tastes WAY BETTER!!!?

Because the produce is in season, what I got last summer changed from week to week. And yes for 1 person it was a lot of produce. I was forced to try things I never would have tried otherwise, and I learned to cook things I had never cooked before. And I am still eating food from last summer, as I pull out soups, and frozen meals from the things I got in my half bushel. I talked my coworker into it last summer and over and over we would both say "Did you try the tomatoes yet? They are unbelievable" or something of that nature.

Basically to me it's like having a garden, without actually having a garden. It was so worth it. And my farmers, as I like to call them, are hilarious. I love talking to them about the goings on at the farm. It's amazing to actually hear about what goes on during the week as they tend to my food, and they are really really funny people.

Recently I got an email saying it's time to sign up for this coming summer, I am so pumped. This summer I am splitting a basket with a coworker.

Here are some pictures of some of my baskets this past summer

This is a mid summer basket, the green beans were amazing, the eggplant was amazing. I actually just pulled some out last night for egg plant parm. There are herbs in there, I hung most of mine up to dry and am still cooking with them. And the blackberries, OH MY THEY ARE AMAZING.

This is the top of a early summer or early fall basket. There are a bunch of different kinds of greens and lettuce. Never had greens before. I used some in soups, and some I cooked in traditional southern style

This is the bottom of that same basket, turnips, green beans, eggplant, cucumbers.

Sometimes I gave things away (like the cucumbers) and the weeks that I was out of town, I gave my basket to a friend, or I had a coworker, who also participated, pick it up for me.

So many people told me they were interested in doing it this summer, I can't remember who I told I would remind. So if you are interested, comment on this post and I will get you the info.

Today's list of thanks. 2/24/2011

On Monday night a friend lent me a copy of one of the books on my list of books I want to read this year. It's called "One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are" by Ann Voskamp.

I would love to sit down and read the entire book, it's amazing. Instead I am forcing myself to only read a chapter a day in order to better grasp the concepts she is sharing.

Last night I read chapter 3, about how Amy was dared by a friend to make a list of 1000 things she was thankful for. I am not going to tell you more than that, I would highly recommend at least the first 3 chapters, you can read them for yourself. I will share some things I am thankful for. I could write a whole lot about the reasons I am thankful for them, but I am not going to, I'm just going to list them, with photos, in no particular order.

1. My Mom

2. My Dad

3. My older brother, the paramedic firefighter

4. My younger brother the professional beach lifeguard comedian

5 My Sister in law

6. My nephew

7. My niece

8. My brother's girlfriend

9. My Nana

10. My Auntie Brenda, we go way back.

11. My Uncle John

989 left to go.

Unity and Diversity

I watched the movie "Life As We Know It" last night for the second time in 24 hours. It's cute, and funny. It's not anything incredibly earth shattering.
There are couple scenes in the movie though that really spoke to me.

The basic storyline is that a couple tries to set-up their best friends, it turns out horribly.
Then they die, leaving there 1 year-old daughter, to the two best friends who can't stand each other.

Last weekend, my friend Arwen called to tell me a quote she had heard. The quote was "Holding bitterness in your heart is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." I told her to stop talking and hold the thought so I could run get a pen and write it down.

I had never heard bitterness described that way.

Then it got me thinking about the things I hold onto, the hurts the just still seem to hurt. The hurts that people just seemed to really jab at.

It also got me thinking about all the times that something was said or done that was really offensive. As a single person, over the age of 25, it happens a lot. The person may not have been meaning to be offensive, but the reality is that if they really thought about what they said, they would probably want to glue their lips shut for the rest of their lives.

Then I started thinking about whether or not people really are as they seem. What I mean by that is that often we project an image, and that image is how the world views us. The world except for the occasional very very close friend that really truly knows us. Many people don't have those kinds of friends. And of course God, who knows us at our very core, like it or not.

Which brings me back to the movie.

Holly and Messer have been living in their dead friends' house raising their daughter and fighting constantly. Holly finds some home videos, one of which is the husband filming the wife as she brings their newborn into the nursery for the first time. She starts yelling at him because it smells like paint fumes, and wasn't he suppose to have it painted weeks ago?
Holly and Messer are surprised, they had always viewed their friends as the perfect couple that never fought and had the perfect life. The following conversation ensued.

Messer: "So what you are saying is that it's okay if we are horrible parents and want to kill each other 50% of the time?"

Holly:"Ninety percent. I think what I am saying is that I think we need to stop fitting ourselves into their lives"

And then I started thinking about how sometimes it's not so much that I am trying to fit myself into someone elses' life, it's that they are trying to fit me into theirs, or I am trying to fit them into mine.

Yes I'm single, and yes I want to be married someday, but me not being married does not make me half a person. It does not make me a lesser person.
It just makes me a whole single person.

Yes I love to eat locally grown organic veggies and can't remember the last time I ate mac and cheese from a box. This doesn't make me a weird eater, it just means I like different food than the general population in western Kentucky.

I don't need a man to make me happy. I don't need to have 2.5 kids and a cutely decorated and organized house to be happy. I don't need coupons for kraft products to make my life rich and satisfying. In fact happiness is circumstantial and temporary.

What I am looking for is peace and eternal perspective, no matter what the circumstances.

What I need is Jesus. And good friends who love and accept me. Me, the girl who likes pink, and running, and swimming, and fresh from the vine tomatoes.

It all brought me back to a sermon I heard last Sunday. My pastor said "The church in the midst of our unity, should have diversity. We need to be taking on the character of Christ."

I felt like light bulbs were going off in my head.

I love my life, most days. And I wouldn't change the journey I've been on to bring me to this place I'm at. Yes there were times that were not very fun, in fact there were times that were down right miserable. I am sure there will be more of those times in the future. Those times, as well as the good times are all events and circumstances that God has used to shape me. There is purpose to it. I may never fully know what His purpose is or was, but none the less, He has ordained this life for me.

Some of those miserable experiences do include the times that people suggested that the reason I am not married is that I am too picky, or too athletic, or that I live in too small of a town, or that I am not forward enough with guys, or that I am too forward. I could go on, I won't though, here is someone else's post on that
http://jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2011/02/awkward-youre-single-conversations-at-church/

and here
http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2009/06/550-surviving-church-as-a-single/
and no, I will not tell you what my score was.

And yet we need each other. I could chose to eliminate the people in my life who are not like me. But I need them, just as they need me.

He didn't ordain this life I am living right now for my married friend with 2.5 kids, just as her life is not mine.

It all brings me back to the movie.
Messer is offering to help Holly. She doesn't want to take the help.

He says "Accepting help doesn't mean that you are weak, it just means that you are not alone."

Which of course brings me to this video. Not only do we as Christians need each other, differences and all, but the church needs us, our diversity and our unity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arxfLK_sd68

It's been a year...Since they caught the eggers

One day over a year and a half ago, I came out in the morning to find my car egged.
Haha I thought VERY FUNNY

Then a couple days later and it was egged AGAIN
and I was mad.

Then a third time it happen, and I realized that every car on my block had been egged.

And then it just kept happening over and over again. Sometime 2 and 3 times a week

And then winter came, so instead of finding simple egg on my car, I was finding FROZEN EGG on my car.

And I go to work early in the morning, and car washes are not open, so then I would have to drive around for several days with egg on my car hoping it would rain.

There was egg all over my street, it smelled bad.

My neighbors set out video cameras all night long.

My neighbors stayed up all night.

Inevitably on those nights the eggers didn't come.

And then my birthday came, and I went to go to lunch with friends, and I had to climb in the passenger side door because there was so much egg on the driver side door I was afraid to open it.

One night my neighbors parked their cars behind their house. Their house got egged.

Paint started peeling off my back bumper, where the majority of the eggs hit.

I couldn't really see out of my driver side mirror, the reflective stuff was damaged, by egg.

There was an interesting spotty design the paint started to take on, where eggs had hit.

Then finally one day I was out walking my dog. A neighbor stopped me. With great jubilation he exclaimed "Have you heard the news?"

"Um NO?"

"THEY CAUGHT THE EGGERS!!!!" He was so excited, and so was I! We talked about throwing a block party.

Finally!

And yes it was a group of people, a group of people you wouldn't expect to find "stress relief" in driving down streets egging cars.


And then I had to take my car to be evaluated for damages, and then I had to turn stuff into the detective. Yes it was thousands of dollars of damages, to my car. Multiply that by the 5 cars on my block, and then think about this, there were over 30 cars in my town that repeatedly got egged.

And yes I got I retribution.

And yes it has been a year since the last time my car was egged.

And no I am not mad anymore, I got a new vehicle as part of the deal.

A list of books for 2011

1. I will Carry You by Angie Smith

2. Radical by David Platt

3. Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner

4. Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman

5. Beyond Belief: Finding the Strength to Come Back by Josh Hamilton

6. One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp

7. The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

What are you looking forward to reading this year?

Sober Hope

There are always rumors that women will be allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia soon.

In 2002, there was an election for parliament in Bahrain. It was the first election in that country since 1975.

People ask me all the time about my childhood in the Middle East. They want to know, was it horrible? No it wasn't. They want to know, what am I eating? It looks gross they say.


Sometimes they want my opinion about Middle Eastern politics.
It's complicated I say.

Last weekend I was watching the protests in Egypt with some people. They asked a lot of questions.
Who is Hosni Mubarak?
What is the Islamic Brotherhood?
Why are they protesting when they already have a democracy, I mean they have a president?

Then a friend sent me a message. What is my opinion on the situation in Egypt? He wanted to know.

I sent him a very long and confusing reply.

Then I sent him another long and confusing reply.

Then I sent him an apology for the 2 long and confusing messages.

I compared my younger brother's personality and my personality to Arabs and Americans.

I told him that I didn't think the US getting involved would make anything better.

I told him that it was my hope that one day the people of the Middle East would enjoy similar freedoms to those we have here in the United States. I don't mean that the Middle East would be just like the United States, but that the people there would be able to choose their leaders, have freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom to worship as they please.

I told him that I am hopeful, but that the hope is sober, because in the Arab world, it's complicated. You just don't believe it till you see it.

I really hope that there is no change to the shwarma industry. I didn't tell him that, I don't think he knows what shwarma is.

I got hungry for Arab food, so I went to the store and bought the stuff to make tabbouleh, and humus.

Yesterday I started watching Al Jazeera's English broadcast live. I kept running back to my office to grab brief updates. I shouted them to my coworker. I think he was only interested because I was so excited.

When Hosni Mubarak came on national television in Egypt and told the people he was not stepping down I saw the people wave their shoes at him.

I knew that this is one of the most awful signs of disrespect an Arab can show.
I remembered about the time when the guy in Iraq threw a shoe at President Bush. I remembered how the American press took it as "this guy wanted to kill him but all he had was a shoe, it's a safety issue" and I laughed, not at the disrespect, but that they didn't realize it was disrespect. Not a safety issue folks, it's his version of the middle finger.

Someone asked me last night what I thought now that Hosni Mubarak had not stepped down.

I told them that I didn't think it was over yet. In the morning it was going to be Friday, the last day of the week. The holy day. There would be even more people in the street.

This morning I got up and swam.
Then I quickly checked Al Jazeerah and Facebook.
I saw millions of people it seemed in the streets chanting.
My friend had this quote posted from a youtube video.
‎"fi kolli share3 fi blady, sout el 7orriya binadi"- In every street in my homeland, the sound of freedom is calling.

Then I went to do something I had to do for work.
Then I went to my office to work on paperwork.

I opened Al Jazeerah on my computer literally just as Omar Suleiman announced on national television in Egypt that Hosni Mubarak had stepped down.

I heard the reporters stop talking, stop translating. I heard the voice, of the people, of Egypt. It was loud and clear, even through the news broadcast on the internet. I saw them dancing. I saw a fire breather. I heard celebratory gunfire.

Then the commentary started up again.
I heard a woman say, in very clear English "I have been working for this all my adult life." She paused to compose herself. "I don't have words." Her voice cracked, "I never thought I would see this in my lifetime."

Another reporter, the same exact age as me said through tears, "I was born days after Mubarak took power. I have never known anything but the regime."

I posted on facebook, congratulating Egypt, for their peaceful demonstrations.

I heard an american commentator state that they were concerned, what if the elected government doesn't agree with the US policies in Israel and other places?
Um really? You would want to deny an entire country of people the same rights that you, as an American citizen enjoy, because you are fearful that the government they choose may not agree with some US foreign policy?
Isn't that the point? That the people of Egypt, should get to go to the polls and cast their vote? And choose their leaders, for their country?

I thought "this woman is completely missing the point, it's not about foreign policy, it's about human rights"

Someone commented on my facebook status, that it was an unbelievable story. But it's more than that, it's hope.
Hope that the people of Egypt can keep things together, and hold free and fair elections, and choose their government.
Hope that they can make the ideals that they have a reality.
Hope that they can be a model for other Arab nations.
Hope that they can enjoy freedoms like we have the privilege of enjoying.

The only difference is that because they have fought for those rights, they will probably actually show up to vote.

But that hope is sober, there is still a long way to go.

Warby Parker

Several months ago a friend posted on facebook that she had recently purchased some glasses from Warby Parker. She was very pleased with them.
I had never heard of the company and so I decided to check them out.

Warby Parker is a company that was started to provide affordable glasses to people. The company founders were not happy with the exorbitant cost of glasses when the manufacturing costs are extremely low. They also wanted to give back.
So glasses are $95, prescription lenses and all. Not only that, for every pair of glasses you purchase, they donate a pair of prescription glasses to someone who needs them but can't afford them.

I told Arwen about it. She was in need of new glasses before I was decided to try them out, she had a good experience and loved her new pair.


I was in need of some new glasses this fall, and so I decided to try Warby Parker out. First I perused their website.
I uploaded a photo of myself and tried glasses on it.

Then I ordered five pairs of frames, which they mailed to me for free to try on.
Once they arrived, I was able to try them on.
The great thing about having them send the glasses for try-on is that I was able to have several friends and coworkers offer their opinions, and I also did not have my eyes dilated.
I ended up purchasing the ones in the picture, they looked better in person than on the virtual try-on.

I picked a pair, Aubrey, in king's purple, and sent all 5 pairs back to Warby Parker, they paid for the shipping.
Then I ordered my new glasses, sent in the prescription, and waited.
The new glasses arrived in less than a week.
They fit perfectly.

Then I submitted the receipt to my health savings account people. It wasn't an acceptable receipt they said.

So I called Warby Parker.
A most amazing thing happened.

A person answered the phone.

It never went to a automated directory with options to choose.

It just rang, and then someone said "Hello, Warby Parker, how may I help you"

I was so stunned I fumbled for words.

And then I told the lady what I needed.

She said "oh absolutely, let me email you a better receipt."

And then before we had even hung up, there was the new receipt in my email inbox.

Amazing.

So if you are in need of some new glasses, or will be eventually, or know some one who wears glasses, check out this company.

Chocolate chip PANCAKES

I love breakfast.
I have lots of good breakfast memories.
When I was a kid, on Friday mornings, my dad would cook a big breakfast for our family before we went to fellowship.
Fellowship is another conversation for another time.
He always played John Denver records. Records, not tapes or CDs, and always John Denver of Friday mornings.
My parents are generally classical music fans, so John Denver was quite out of their normal range. I can't honestly explain it, it's just what our family always did on Friday mornings, which was the second day of the weekend for us.
A few nights ago a John Denver song was playing and a coworker was impressed that I knew all the words to Country Roads.

Anyway back to breakfast.

Sometimes he made waffles. Sometimes he made omelettes with mushrooms and onions and sausage. Sometimes he made pancakes. The most favorite was the no flip pancakes topped with butter, lemon, sliced almonds, and powdered sugar.

Did I say I love breakfast?

In college I was the kid that got super pumped about breakfast at the dining hall. I struggled to decide what to eat, too many options, a lot of my favorite foods, all available at the same time. AAAAHHHHH!

The problem is that I'm single, and I live by myself.

It's a lot of work to make a big breakfast, everything from scratch, for 1 person.
And when there is just one person, you either drastically overeat, or you have an excessive amount of leftovers. Breakfast leftovers are just not very good in my opinion.

It is for the above mentioned reasons I never cook big breakfasts for myself.

Most of the time when I stay in hotels for work, they are the kind with continental breakfast. There is nothing wrong with continental breakfast, I always find things to eat.

But sometimes we stay in hotels that have actual, real, big breakfast.
I am always extremely excited when that happens.

So you can imagine my excitement when this was on the buffet.

First we debated, were they blueberries or chocolate chips?

And then the worker came over to help us out.
And he confirmed!
THEY WERE CHOCOLATE CHIPS.

They might not be no flip pancakes with lemon juice, butter, almonds, and powdered sugar, but they are still something I would never make for myself at home. And they were awesome!

His name is "Dan"

It's a running joke between my two dear friends Arwen and Katy, that no matter what the name my at this time unidentified husband actually is, they will call him "Dan."

It all started Easter weekend 2010 when Dan called Arwen and told her he was taking her out on a date. He took her to dinner, and ice cream, and Lowes to look at fencing for her yard. I was so pumped for my best friend. He seemed like a really good guy, he even took it well when I told him to be nice to her or I would stun him with my stun gun, in a facebook message.

In July I went on my annual pilgrimage back to the New England area. I hung out with Arwen and Katy, and I met Dan. I decided that he was a good guy and that he could go ahead and marry my best friend. We joked about him buying her ring at a pawn shop.

In August he proposed. He did not buy her ring at a pawn shop.

Then some time around December Katy started spending extra time with her Dan. They officially started dating in January.

So a few weeks ago, I was talking to Arwen on the phone, Katy was at her house. I hear Katy in the background yelling "has she met Dan yet?"

"Arwen tell her I obviously haven't met her Dan yet, he lives in Massachusetts. I did facebook message him though, about the stun gun."

Arwen promptly relays my message to Katy, to which Katy replies "No not my Dan, has she met her Dan yet."

And that is when they informed me, whether his name is Joe or Steve or Reuben, they will be calling him "Dan."

And then some others joined in the hunt for "Dan."

Sarah, my frequent hotel roommate, drew the artist's rendition of "Dan" featured above.

A million miles

Last year for my birthday a friend gave me a copy of Donald Miller's book "A Million Miles in A Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life." It had just been published. I love Donald Miller's writing and so I was looking forward to reading it. If you are looking for a good read, I highly recommend this one. One thing I really like about Donald Miller's writing is that it makes me think. I don't always agree with him, but I always am challenged to dig deeper.

Without giving away too much, the basic message of the book is that we have choices in life, we can choose to sit on the couch and be spectators, or we can get up and experience life.

As I read through the book, and as I thought about my own life, I was struck by the fact that I was miserable in certain circumstances in my life, but I was too afraid of change to do anything about it. So here I was, sitting around, waiting for God to show up. The problem with this scenario is that sometimes God asks us to take steps of faith, it's part of His plan to transform us, to be more like Him, to be more the person He created us to be.

At the time I couldn't remember the last time I was excited to read my Bible. I couldn't remember the last time I had been involved in serving others with my church family. I couldn't remember the last time I didn't have to give myself a pep talk before going to either church on Sunday morning or my small group.

Basically I couldn't remember the last time I had been anything more than a spectator, and I also knew that I wasn't becoming more Christlike.

Donald Miller put it like this, "If the point of life is the same as the point of a story, the point of life is character transformation. If I got any comfort as I set out on my first story, it was that in nearly every story, the protagonist is transformed. He's a jerk at the beginning and nice at the end, or a coward at the beginning and brave at the end. If the character doesn't change, the story hasn't happened yet. And if story is derived from real life, if story is just condensed version of life then life itself may be designed to change us so that we evolve from one kind of person to another. "

A few Sundays ago during my Sunday school class we were talking about the part in Philippians 2 where Paul asks us to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. We talked about how the point is not that we can earn our salvation, but that we must continue to surrender to the Lord. We talked about how as we walk through this Christian life, we need to continue to grow in our faith, and continue to learn about who He is, so that we can have a deeper understanding of our salvation.

I recently was reading the part in Deuteronomy 31 where Joshua is preparing to take over for Moses and lead the Israelite people into the promised land.

Moses says the following to Joshua:
"Be strong and courageous, for you must go with these people into the land that the LORD swore to their forefathers to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance.
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged"

I knew about a year ago that I needed to find a different place to go to church. I knew that there were some really unhealthy relationships in my life.
The thought of going to a new church, of building new relationships, of finding a new small group was daunting to me. I know that relationships take time to develop, I knew that I would probably spend some time being lonely for a while. I didn't like the idea of any of that. But I came to realize that it was a necessary thing in my life and for my faith.

So this past May, after a week long trip with my parents, I came home and started the process, I took a step of faith.

And as Donald Miller said:
"And once you live a good story, you get a taste for a kind of meaning in life, and you can't go back to being normal; you can't go back to meaningless scenes stitched together by the forgettable thread of wasted time."

I'm so thankful that I made a hard choice, I'm thankful that a few weeks ago I was on the phone with Arwen and she was crying. I said "What's wrong?" She replied "It's just so great to here you excited about what going to church, it's so great to hear you laugh, it's been a really long time."

Thoughts on Conflict

Throughout my 4 years of college I was involved in several different Bible studies. My freshman or sophomore year, I can't remember which, I was part of a Bible study of women in which we did a study looking at relationships between women and what the Bible says about their role in our lives.

Growing up I had always been kind of a tomboy. I was friends with the girls I grew up with, but I also spent a lot of time with the guys. Especially around middle school when girls can be incredibly hormonal and mean, I found it much easier to spend my free time at the pool swimming. This carried over into high school for the most part, and so it wasn't really until I was in college that I began to form strong relationships with other women my age.
I think that is probably why that Bible study was so profound to me.

I remember this one discussion we had about conflict. I remember the following statement, "relationships can only be so deep until there is conflict. In fact until there is conflict relationships can only be superficial." The point was that once there is conflict in a relationship, the parties involved have to decide if the relationship is worth fighting for. If the relationship is worth fighting for, then they will, and the conflict will be resolved, and the relationship will continue to grow. However if the conflict is not resolved, the relationship will end, or will forever be superficial and full of tension until the original conflict is resolved. The point was not that relationships should be abandoned when conflict is not resolved, but rather, that for the health of the relationship, we should do everything in our power to resolve conflict when it arises.

In Colossians 3 Paul says "Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

There is a lot of encouragement here and other places for us to forgive as Christ forgave. I know this is something I am not the greatest at. I know it's something I really have to ask God to do in my heart. On my own I cannot do this.

I also know that we Christians, especially when we are the ones who have hurt someone else, love to remember that we should be quick to be forgiven.

However I think we overlook these words from Jesus in Matthew 5,
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to you brother, then come and offer your gift."

Later on in Matthew 18, Jesus is very clear about how conflict within the church should be handled. He tells us first to go to our brother and talk to him about it, and if he doesn't listen, then to take 2 other brothers.

I think it's real easy to expect to be forgiven, it's much harder to have to humble myself, confess my sin(s) to my sister in Christ, and ask for forgiveness. In doing so I have to admit that I don't have it all together, I have to admit that I have issues, I have to admit that I'm not perfect. Worst of all, I have to admit that my actions have actually hurt another or others.
Ironically this is what I had to do when accepted Christ as Savior. It's what I have to do everyday as I choose to follow Christ.

When it comes to conflicts in our human relationships, it's a lot easier to point fingers away from myself. It's a lot easier to come up with excuses for my behavior. It's a lot easier to justify my dishonest, or hurtful words or actions.

To see someone actually own up and say "yes, I did that, and it was wrong, and it hurt you, and I'm sorry" is so rare.

What is even more rare is when someone says those things, and then changes their behavior, stops doing the hurtful thing, makes a different choice the next time around, whether it's words or actions toward the same person or a different person in a similar circumstance.

I wonder though, how many wounds inflicted on peoples' hearts, by other hurting people where it was unnecessary? How many friendships could have been saved? I wonder, how many major church conflicts could have been avoided? If people could just say "Hey, I'm sorry." and actually mean it?

Trust me I'm American.

Recently a childhood friend has been posting on facebook about frustrations as she tries to get new documentation because her wallet was stolen.
My brother once was denied a drivers licence, because he doesn't have an actual birth certificate in English.
Both my brother and my friend look american, act american, sound american.
The problem is that they have a harder time proving that they are actually american, than the average american.
They were both born in Saudi Arabia. They have an Arabic birth certificate. They have a translation of the Arabic birth certificate. They also have a Consular Report of Birth of a Citizen of the United States of America, Form FS-240. In order to obtain the documentation of citizenship, my parents had to travel approximately an hour, go through a fairly intense security screening, and fill out the proper paperwork with the US Consular in Dhahran, oh and pay the fees. Currently the hours of operation at the Consulate in Dhahran, KSA are Saturday- Wednesday 1-3:30, and it is closed on the last business day of every month. In order to obtain the Report of Birth, the parents have to file for it within 30 days of birth, they have to present the parents passports, marriage certificate, and the newborn has to be present with the parents. Then after the Report of Birth is obtained, the parents can apply for the passport. Passports can only be applied 1-3:30 Saturday-Tuesday. Needless to say, several trips to the Consular were probably made. Having had to make trips to the Consulate as a kid growing up every couple years to get my passport renewed, I can attest, it's not the funnest experience. And you always have to go back more than once. You go to apply, and then you go back to pick up the passport, minimum 2 trips. And if you are caught behind a 99 car pile-up on the way there and you get there at 3:31, sorry about your luck, come back tomorrow. I'm not joking about the 99 car pile up either, we actually counted, we probably missed a few, it was probably more like 105 at least.

The average worker at the DMV or the local social security office is not familiar with such documentation. Shortly after 9/11, the State of New Hampshire decided it would start requiring birth certificates when people applied for driver's licences. My brother was a sophomore in college, he was trying to transfer his licence from Michigan to New Hampshire. The person at the desk said "I need a copy of your birth certificate."
My brother replied "This is my birth certificate."
She responded "it's not in English."
He said "I know here is the official translation."
She said "I can't accept this."
He said "This is my Consular Report of Birth of a Citizen of the United States of America."
She said "I can't accept this, it's not a birth certificate."
He was growing frustrated "This is issued by the US State Department"
She wouldn't budge "I can't accept this."
He was probably shouting at this point "I already have a driver's licence from another state, another state here in the United States!"
She responded again "I can't accept that."

He ended up at the Governor's office, in Concord, at the state capital, to explain that their new policy was a little flawed. He eventually was granted a New Hampshire driver's licence.

My friend joked that it might be easier to get a new social security card if she pretended to be an illegal immigrant. She is probably right.

When we left Saudi for good on Dec 30, 2002, we knew that it was unlikely that we would ever go back, even to visit. We also knew that there is a lot of who we are wrapped up in a small active beach community on the Arabian Gulf, you may know it as the Persian Gulf. We knew that we would miss the trips out the Rahima, the local town just outside our compound gates for shawarmas, and bread, and the vegetable stand. We knew there were a lot of things that we would miss. I don't think my brother was fully prepared for the frustrating circumstances he would occasionally find himself in, where he would struggle to prove his citizenship, which has never been in question.

My older brother and I were both born here in the United States, we have not had to deal with these same frustrations. We were about this age when my parents were working on getting my younger brother declared a US citizen from birth.

Here my brothers are later on, at the beach in our town. And our boat. Fun times.

Shepherd

I recently started reading a book.

I am loving it, mainly because it has really opened my eyes and helped me to a deeper understanding of David's words.

The other day I posted the following quote as my facebook status.
"Just as sheep will blindly, habitually, stupidly follow one another along the same little trails until they become ruts that erode into gigantic gullies, so we humans cling to the same habits that we have seen ruin other lives."

Phillip Keller was referring to Psalm 23:3 where David says "He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake."

Keller was talking about how sheep have to be led from one grazing ground to another. If the sheep are not led by their shepherd, they will graze a feeding ground until they have ruined it. Not only that, but they contaminate the grazing field so that they make themselves sick. He goes on to say that we, like the sheep, need to be led by Christ.
"The difficult point is that most of us don't want to come. We don't want to follow. We don't want to be led in the paths of righteousness. Somehow it goes against our grain. We actually prefer to turn to our own way even though it may take us straight into trouble." Says Keller.

A woman I have known my whole life commented that it sounded like Proverbs 26:11 "As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."

This past weekend, while travelling for work, my roommate turned on "Freedom Writers" on MTV.
If you haven't seen it the basic story line is that this woman starts teaching in a school system where some students are given opportunity, and some aren't, and it's mainly based on ethnicity.

The teacher has to deal with racial hatred and gang issues. She starts talking about the holocaust with the students, only one of them has ever even heard of it. She starts describing the Nazis as the most powerful gang ever, she tells them about the massive amounts of people they killed, the genocide that happened. She takes the students on a field trip to a holocaust museum and invites holocaust survivors to dinner with the students.
The students begin to realize that the things they are going through and participating in are nothing new. They realize that they can make choices not to follow the others who have gone before them in their community and made choices that lead to death, they could be agents for change.
In their community everyone is different, separated into groups, and yet at the same time, the reality they begin to see is that they have a lot in common. Because their community is so homogeneous in their thinking, they know no other way.
Then this crazy teacher, whose ideas are completely foreign to them, comes along, and opens their eyes to the possibilities. Instead of being sheep who stay where they are at and destroy themselves and each other, they can be led to a new grazing field, or instead of being like a dog and returning to the vomit, they can make different choices.

As I think about being led by Christ, I am reminded that there are several different mediums He uses to lead us.
Obviously, there is His Word. Paul tells us in Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

And there is the Holy Spirit. Jesus says in John 16:13 that the Holy Spirit will come and guide us into all truth.

And then there are our elders, Titus 2 starts out the following way, "You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love, and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God..."

I find it important to note that first the older men and women have to be taught what is in accord with sound doctrine before they are ready to lead the younger men and women.

There is a trend in many churches here in the United States that Bible studies and small groups are arranged based on age and marital status. There is the group for the young married people, and there is the group for young married people with small children. There are the groups for the young single never married people, and the groups for the older divorces single again people. Then there are the groups for the middle aged people, and the groups for the elderly people.

While there is something to be said for having people in your life who are in the same place in life, I wonder if we as a church are stifling growth. It is easy to foster relationships between people who are in the same place in life, those relationships, those relationships form naturally. Generally speaking, relationships across generations are less likely to form without placing people in situations where they are more encouraged.

Am I open to Christ's leading? Am I putting myself under the leadership of those who are prepared to lead others?

Transformation

Disclaimer: photos were taken without flash on my iphone, quality isn't the greatest.

It's a hotel room, and it's an athletic training room, and it's my room on the road. Here's how I make it work.




1. Rearrange the furniture
See this desk? Yeah, not a desk it's a taping table.



That desk chair? Well it's just in the way so shove it against the wall between the wall and the bed.



2. Fill up the portable hydrocollator, or for those of you not in the know, it's a machine that makes moist heat packs. The ice bucket provided by the hotel is an excellent tool for this task.



2a. remember to plug the hydrocollator in, there is nothing worse than waking up in the morning to find cold water. Not that this has ever happened to me before.



3. Call the front desk and ask for more towels.
The four provided are for me and my roommate, the four extra are for the hot packs



4. Hang the clothes in the closet, and if it's a longer than 2 day stay, put the clothes in the drawers. Yes I said in the drawers, living out of a suitcase is not fun when you do it this often.




5. Break out the candle



and while you are at it, just take over the night stand, I mean, that's what you would do at home right?

6. Call the front desk and ask for matches, if you forgot them, again not that I would ever do that. As a side note, they also have toothbrushes and deodorant if you forgot those.

7. Position the athletic training bag in close proximity to the taping table.



8. Reposition a trash can in close proximity to the taping table

9. pull back the comforter on the bed, we've all seen the shows, and I've seen enough cleaning ladies in action, I'm not taking my chances thank you very much.

10. plug in the phone to the outlet closest to your bed
10a. plug in the computer to the second closest outlet to your bed



11. connect to the wifi

12. set out the taping supplies on the tv stand, or in this case, since it has the preferred but not always available, rolling 2 desk set-up, place them on the taller desk with the lamp.



13. Put the toiletries in the bathtub, and not those stupid little travel sizes, there is no point, they run out in about a trip and a half.



14. understand that the minute the girls come in for treatment, your bed is now a public area


.
Did I mention, one of the girls in this picture has a portable electric stimulation device on? True story

Here is the taping table in action.



What can I say, cleaning ladies love me

Bible Study

I have always loved to study the Bible. I like to read it, but more than just reading it, I like to dig deep. I like to know what the historical context is, I want to know what the Hebrew translation is. What is the significance of the passage?

In college I heard a speaker one time, he was talking about the massive amount of prophecy in the Old Testament that pointed to Jesus. I loved it. I spent the next several weeks learning about where Old Testament prophesies were fulfilled in the New Testament.

I love doing Beth Moore studies.
I love drawing out the temple and learning about significance of the various and assorted pieces in the Holy of Holies.

When I read David's descriptions of the stars, I think about nights from my childhood, out in the desert. If you've never seen the stars on a clear night in the desert, I hope you get to sometime. There are not words.

I also like to read books other than the Bible, but I have learned that these books can't replace actual reading of the Bible itself. I love Donald Miller, Beth Moore, Max Lucado, John Ortberg, but they cannot replace Paul and David, Matthew, Mark, Isaiah...

I love reading Daniel's dream about the Son of Man, and then flipping over to the New Testament where Jesus calls himself the Son of Man.

A few months ago a guy I grew up with had a very interesting statement on his facebook status. He said "I hate it when people call a gathering a 'Bible study' when really it should be considered a Christian self-help group."

He is right. It's not that a Christian self-help group is wrong. But lets be honest, sometimes there isn't much or any actual Bible study going on. Community is important, and Bible study is important, both, equally.

I had an imbalance. Now I am getting back to Bible study, and loving it. I read last night about how Laban chased after Jacob because Rachel had stolen Laban's gods. I laughed at Rachel's response to Laban as to why she couldn't get off her camel. I was reminded that God's Word is living. I was reminded that God's Word is relevant today. I was reminded that I am fortunate, that I have to so many resources available to be able to study His Word!!!

New start

I haven't blogged in a really long time, over a year actually. I hadn't had much positive to say, and so I just didn't say anything.
Then over the course of the summer and fall I made some decisions, they were definitely hard at first, but I am glad I made them. Slowly but surely, God began to restore me, the weight that I had been carrying was lifted.
There is a song by SUPERCHICK has a song that I sometimes find myself listening to, have since I was junior or so in college, it's called "Let It Be" The first verse and chorus are as follows

Some people bring you gifts
Some bring you bricks to weight you down
So they can swim a little higher
While you drown
Some people mean so well
Their way was the best way that they found
But any other way you choose is a brick that weights you down
So tell me, what do I do
With this backpack full of bricks
Of sticks and stones and words that stuck to me like ticks

Let it go, let it be
Brick by brick we can be free
Of all the words we saved
Till we were our own enemies
Let it go, let it be
Brick by brick we can believe
In the person God intended us to be
Let it be

Lately as I have let go of some of the brick, I have found myself formulating blog posts in my head, and so I thought it was time to get back to it.

RUNNING

I love to run. I NEVER in a million years ever thought I would say that. I used to have to run when I played soccer, it was my least favorite part about playing soccer. I used to run when I was on the track team in junior high, but I ran the 200 and the 100 and that isn't very far. One time they made me high jump. I couldn't even get over the opening height. I used to think that our cross country runners where nuts.
This summer I started running in 5ks as part of my new healthy lifestyle. Actually before I started running, I started kickboxing. I compeletly changed my diet. Then I started running. I ran in a 5k to raise money for orphans, and one for the american heart association. I ran in one to raise money for the local humane society. Then I got really ambitious and ran in the superman race in Metropolis, IL, it was 4 miles. First time in my life I ran a race that long I think. Then I started running most mornings with my friend Jenn. SO now I'm up to 10 miles on my long run. YES 10 miles only stopping 2ish times for breif water breaks. AND I love it. I like to run with Jen, who is also an athletic trainer, and discuss life as an athletic trainer. I like to run by myself with my ipod tuned to Chris Tomlin, or Caedmon's Call, or Paul Coleman, or Third Day. I like that I get to think about life while I run. I like that I don't have my cell phone with me when I run.
Sometimes people, namely one of my coworkers likes to drive up behind me and honk his horn, and scare me, not a fan of that, he thinks it is the funniest thing in the world. Several times people have mentioned that they saw me out running, waved, yelled my name, but that I didn't see them. Apperently I get into my zone and ignore the world, except for oncoming cars. I ran on the road while traveling with the women's basketball team for the first ever. One of our assistant coaches joined me, it was fun. I got to see the city we were in, explore a little. Thankfully she has a good sense of direction and we didn't get lost.
That is my story about running. That and I am currently debating, should I run the Nashville marathon or the Louisville marathon? They are the same weekend in April. Oh the decisions

Cate's Christmas Gift Guide

Several weeks ago I had a really scary experience. I was driving home from work, got followed, didn't realize I was being followed. The next thing I knew my car was surrounded by three scary men. I locked my car door and drove away, didn't sleep at my house that night. Didn't sleep for several nights really.
Then I went and got a stun gun. YUP. I had no idea they are as cheep as they are. I had no idea how small and compact they are. I had no idea how easy they are to use. Had I known these things I would have gotten one a long time ago.
SOOO if you are looking for a great Christmas gift for the women in your life? STUN GUN! for real...

Dinosauras Fly

I'm so not even kidding, for months, literally, like 3, this giant fly has been in my office driving me nuts. I asked our building manager to take care of it. He just laughed at me, over and over and over. So then one day he was in my office, and he said "wow, that fly is really annoying" YEAH, NO KIDDING. But still he did nothing. So then I started kinda jokingly harrassing him about it. So finally yesterday I came into my office and there was fly paper hanging in my window!!! He thought it was funny, I was SO EXCITED. But at the end of the day, no dead fly. So this morning when I came in, the fly was hovering around the fly paper. I closed my door to keep it from escaping. I was out of the office for most of the day and when I came back this afternoon, this is what I saw

I know it's blurry, it's the best I could do. I call it VICTORY!