God's perfect timing

The Wednesday before the Thursday that I started driving to New England I had an interview in New Hampshire.  I flew up for the interview, on Tuesday, and then back on Wednesday.  Wednesday, before hoping on the plane, I met my aunt and uncle for a quicker than quick bite to eat.

My aunt told me that my Nana was going to start receiving hospice care.  Nothing had really drastically changed, she was just in a slow gradual decline.  She is 96 after all.  I didn't ask questions.

I didn't have time to really process it.  I hoped in my rental car, found my way back to the terminal, and hoped on a plane.  Thankfully there were no screaming children on the flight, I don't know if I could have handled that.  I sat on the plane wondering, what exactly does it mean that she is getting hospice care?  I work in health care, but I work with young people, and those young people I care about, but they aren't my family.


When I finally got to my Aunt's house on Monday, we were able to discuss further what exactly it means that my grandmother is in a slow gradual decline.  Basically I know now that all care given to my grandmother, and all procedures done will be to make her comfortable, no routine blood tests, no sticking her just because.

I was prepared to be unprepared when I saw her.  It had been a year since I had seen her in person.  We had skyped a few times, but that is different.

I hadn't been prepared for her to call me Marsha and ask about my nursing career.  She was referring to her niece, my dad's cousin, who is named Marsha and is a nurse.

Yesterday, while I was at another interview, my Aunt went to see Nana, and brought her pizza, pepperoni, her favorite.

Today I stopped by to see Nana by myself.  She told an aid that I was her niece, I corrected her gently, I am her granddaughter.

I pushed her around, forgot to bring her sunglasses when I took her outside, had to take her back inside to get the sunglasses.  I got told an immense amount of times to back up, that I was going the wrong way.

And can I just say for a second, they have her in a special chair to make her more comfortable, it is a beast to push around.  Good thing I workout.

At the end of the visit, I told her I would be back tomorrow, and that I would bring her ice cream from Kimball's.  Knowing full well that she would want maple walnut, I asked her what kind she wanted.  "Pepperoni" she declared. UMMMMM. After some clarification, ice cream Nana, not pizza, it was determined that maple walnut would be best.

Then of course I felt the need to check with the nurse, could Nana have ice cream?  Yes, she can have whatever she want's apparently.  

For all that it is hard to see someone you love declining like this, and for all that it is sometimes a little nerve wracking not knowing what the future holds, I am glad I have the time to be here.  I am thankful to be on 5.5 weeks of vacation and able to just completely silence my phone, not worry about work.

I am thankful for God's timing in all of this, that my Aunt doesn't have to be doing this alone.  And that from 1-2:30 today I got to hang out with this face.

Highway Robbery

$51.20
That is how much money I spent on tolls on the way up here.
Seriously.

I was expecting tolls, I mean, I've driven most of these roads before, but really?
Really Pennsylvania turnpike?

I took out $40 in cash before leaving Kentucky, just to be sure I would have enough for the tolls.
Yeah, funny, because I got to the George Washington Bridge and the toll was $12 and I had $4 left.  So there I am, sitting in my truck, counting out quarters and nickels and dimes that I had been saving for the little tolls when I am going from place to place around New England.  I can feel the drivers behind me getting mad.

"Do you have enough?  We can send you a bill if you don't" says the tollbooth lady.
I wanted to yell "I WOULD HAVE ENOUGH IF YOU PEOPLE DIDN'T CHARGE A BILLION DOLLARS TO DRIVE A MILE."
But I didn't, I just gave her my last couple dimes and said "there that's $12."
"Where are you headed?" she asked
"Massachusetts."
"You know there are going to be more tolls right?"

UM yes I do know that, again, I just didn't expect to have to pay $12 to cross a bridge, it seems like last year it was $6.

That is how my day Monday went.  I found an ATM to get more cash.  I made it up to my brother's town, and watched the parade as I walked to find my niece and nephew and sister in law.  I found them just after my brother drove by in his fire truck and the parade was over.  Oh well.

I enjoyed the quick visit with them.  I learned that my nephew's favorite lunch meat is pastrami, really.  My niece informed me that elegant is the fancy word for fancy.

I made it to my Aunt's before the traffic got so heavy it slowed down.  Arwen and her sister popped in for a quick visit on their way from Boston where they were visiting their grandfather in the hospital.

I was exhausted.  I was thankful to be in close enough proximity to so many important people to me that I could see them all in one day.  But all I could really think about was that I really need EZ pass, but should really wait until I have switched to a bank account and have a permanent address up here.  Oh EZ pass, I look forward to your presence in my life.

Where to after the jump?

Recently while talking with the girls in my Monday night Bible study back in Kentucky, I said that I had courage to step out in faith and trust God, partly because God is trustworthy, and partly because I had courageous friends who went before me.

I had the opportunity over Memorial Day weekend to spend some time with some of those friends.

I've known these friends since my freshman year of college.  She was in my Bible study, he was the cook at camp my first summer there.  They met and fell in love, that is it's own story.

They were living the typical American "dream" working, working, paying for the house, raising the kids, working.  Then God began to direct them in other ways.

They sold their house.

They moved to Spain for 6 months.

Then they ended up north of Philly.

I hadn't seen them since their now 8 year old daughter was just days old.  When I realized that it would be a perfect place to stop and visit on my road trip, I was excited.

It was such a blessing to hang out with them, catch up on life, meet their 3 kids, and mostly hear where God is leading them.

It is so amazing to see a couple who said they would go where He sends them, pick up, and actually go where He is sending them, no road map, no agenda, no master plan.

For now He isn't sending them to a hut in Africa.  For now He has sent them to a missions headquarters where he uses his culinary skills and degree to cook for missionaries about to go out to the field, and those who have given their lives overseas and now need a place to be.

And of course we did some hiking, and eating, and otherwise had fun times.

I don't know what you think, but I think water guns seem like the best way to water the garden.

One thing I really appreciated was the total lack of need to pursue stuff.  No need to eat out, or buy fancy things.  These are people who I know enjoy nice clothes, good food, but they have chosen to leave that behind.  It's not that they don't still enjoy those things, but they are committed to something greater.

.

Another really exciting part of this visit was a side visit out to Lancaster, PA where we were able to meet up with 3 special college girls.  The middle one was a camper in my cabin 12 years ago, she was 7.  It was amazing to chat with them, to hear what God is doing in their lives.

We heard about a recent trip to Uganda! And then of course we went to eat at a restaurant with dutch food and an Amish buggy.

.I loved the lack of awkwardness that sometimes comes when you see friends you haven't seen in a really long time.  I loved the conversations that left me with lots to think about.  I loved watching wheels turn in his head as he thought of guys he could set me up with.  I love that she takes pride in her clean vehicle (no small feat with small kids, I know) and spends lots of time focusing on the ways she can encourage her husband and kids.

I am so thankful that my community includes people whose lives look very different than me, and yet we find common ground in Christ.  I love that we have been able to mostly keep up with each others lives via technology over the years.  What a great weekend.

Somewhere In Between

I spent Friday May 25, 2012 driving and driving and driving.
I listened to some pods casts.  I learned more about the paleo diet, and was reminded of how much I love exercise physiology.  I know, I am a total freak.
I listened to some Dave Ramsey and learned more about financial planning.

I listened to some good tunes.

I listened to Boundless podcasts.

I am pretty sure I passed every single state trooper in Ohio.

I stopped at a Subway in Ohio where they didn't know how to ring up a salad.  True story folks.

I noticed these in the western part of Pennsylvania

I then passed multiple billboards about saving Pennsylvania coal.

I then passed a small field of solar panels, quickly followed by more billboards about Pennsylvania coal, followed by a billboard about Pennsylvania wind energy.  I don't know what you think, but I think there is a battle going on about how Pennsylvania should be powered.

I stopped at a rest stop in Pennsylvania where they had these...

I resisted the temptation to relive my high school days, for the sake of paleo and my disappearing eczema.
I did pay $5 for a coffee instead.

Another interesting observation, every single time I have driven through Pennsylvania, the following song has come on the radio.  Every time.

Last day in Kentucky

I woke up one last time in the ridiculously early morning to run with my running buddy and friend Jen.  We have been running early in the morning for several years, and talking about life.

After saying goodbye to a few people and running a few last errands, I hit the road for a short 4 hour drive to Louisville.
I had decided that before leaving the state, I should probably stop by Churchill Downs.

I watched them bring the horses out to the post.

And then I watched a race...

It wasn't a very close race...

I was really more impressed with the grounds than with the actual horse racing... And yes I know, the Derby is not like just a random day at the race track...

The last stop of the day was at my old road roomie Sarah's.  I stayed with her family.  It was so good to see them, I will miss them, I am so thankful for Sarah, I am amazed at her faith and commitment to serving the Lord.  I will miss her.

All in all it was a good day.  I will miss some amazing friends in Kentucky, but I am looking forward to the things God has next for me.

Slow and Gradual

Last fall, when I knew I was planning on moving in the next 12 months, I asked a friend who had recently relocated from the east coast to Michigan what she thought she had done well, and what she would have changed about the transition.
She said she wished she and her husband had told people sooner that they were planning on moving.  She said that because they waited until the move was just weeks away, they didn't get to have quality goodbyes with people.  She told me that people take the news in a variety of ways, some people were happy for them, some people were sad, some people were downright mad.  She told me that by the time people had gotten over their initial reactions, it was too late to have a good goodbye, they had already gone.  Her advice was to go ahead and start telling people, even though I didn't know what my time frame would be.

I thought long and hard about her advice.  Then I took it, I slowly started telling people around me that my plan was to be relocated to New England by the end of June.  That was back in September and October.  She was right, some people were excited for me, some people gave me the cold shoulder for a time.

Over the last few weeks though, I have had the opportunity to say quality goodbyes.  I haven't been rushed.  I've had going away meals with people, I've had time to stop by various offices that I have worked with over the years, to say goodbye.

Because my house sold and I moved everything into storage back in February, I haven't had to juggle the details of moving out with saying goodbye.

I am incredibly thankful for that wise advice.

This morning as I drive off, there are a few people I wish I would have had time to see one last time, but for the most part I am incredibly thankful for the amazing relationships I've made in this place.  I am looking forward to maintaining several of them.

House 3, the last place in Murray

For the last 12 days of my time in Murray, I borrowed a room from the sister/roommate of one of the girls in my Bible study.  She had left for the summer and so I was able to use her space as a staging and repacking and sleeping area for my last days here.  It has been a time of hanging out with friends, quiet times with the Lord, and getting back on track with the paleo.  Maintaining the paleo diet was somewhat hard while living in limbo over the last several weeks.  It also put me back on the same road I lived on when I first moved here 7 years ago.
Again, I am grateful for the generosity of friends.

One thing I realized this last week is that there is no way I could have done this year the way it has been had I been married and with kids.  The moving from one place to another, living somewhat out of my truck, staying with friends in a spare room would not have been possible had I been responsible for other beings.

So today I am thankful for the many friends who have been there for me in one way of another over the last year, and for the gift of singleness which has allowed for this time.

House 2

After staying at house 1 for 3 months, it was time for me to move on.  I spent the weekend with friends at their house on the lake.

I had a restful weekend which consisted of the following:
sitting outside reading
sitting inside reading
canoeing in a light drizzle
sleeping
watching documentaries




On Saturday a friend came out and we went to Belews

We also stopped by a fun gift shop on the way home.

Then on Sunday, another friend came out (to her parents house, where I was staying)

We ate an awesome meal, sat on the dock, and watched her dog

It was restful, encouraging, fun weekend. I am thankful for that time.

House 1

I officially moved into this house on Feb 17, though I slept here and was living in between my house and this house for a week or so before that.

Living in this house

and with these people

has shed light on the busyness that was my life.  I have realized that my life was so scheduled and rigid, and over planned.  It has been really a good realization.

I have shared meals with this family, played bocce on Sunday afternoons, joined them for their small group meetings, laughed, talked, pinned on pinterest...

Everyday when I left the house, even if it was 5 in the morning, there is someone up, reminding me to have a great day.

We have used my truck to haul dirt and a canoe.

We have traded vehicles for the weekend.

They have let me take over their dining area for sewing projects.

It was the first stop on this journey and I am grateful for the hospitality and place to stay for about 3 months.

Keep The Old

This morning, as I was leaving the pool, I ran into on older gentleman who used to coach here and who occasionally comes by our offices to chat.  He also comes by when he has hurt himself, which is why several years ago, I had the opportunity to tell him that he had completely ruptured his Achilles tendon pushing his stalled out car back into his driveway.  We laugh about it now.

He isn't someone I see regularly, so this morning when I saw him, I realized he probably didn't know that I am leaving.  I told him, he was happy for me.

He told me that I might be leaving this small west Kentucky town, but that this town will always be a part of me, and he is right.  Every place I have ever lived, whether it was good or bad, is now a part of me.

We started reminiscing about some of the funny things that have happened.

We laughed about my first week here when I was in the athletic training room by myself and another elderly gentleman came down looking for my boss.  I couldn't understand a word the man was saying except that it had something to do with shrimp, and the gentleman's great toe had clearly been smashed.  (I later found out, through an "interpreter", that a large block of frozen shrimp had fallen out of the freezer and landed on his toe.)

That same afternoon I met our old team physician, I couldn't understand a word he said either, but he taught me how to drill a hole in toenails using a paperclip.  It's a very useful skill.

I'm at the point where I know that when I see people, whether it be planned or not, it may be the last time I see them before I leave.

While it makes me a little sad, it has been a good reminder of some of the amazing people I have met in the last 7 years.  It was fun to reminisce this morning and think about all the crazy stories about this place that people just simply won't believe when I am living somewhere in New England.

There have been so many amazing friends, coworkers, students, and student athletes that I am thankful to have in my life.  I will miss them, and hope many of them will remain a part of my life and follow through on their promises to come visit!

Limbo

This weekend I was really craving some juice from my juicer.  Nothing compares to fresh juicer juice. 

The problem is that the beloved juicer, a Christmas gift from my parents, is somewhere in here.

It's been in there, with most of the rest of my stuff since a beautiful Saturday morning in February when the men in my Sunday school class, along with my dad, packed this space full in less than an hour.  I am forever grateful to them.

Since then I have been living with an amazing family, and in limbo.  God has supplied for my needs, with a roof, a warm bed, a place to prepare my weird food. 

This time living in between has been good.  I have been forced to evaluate what stuff is essential, and what stuff is not.  I have been thrust back into living in community, which I desperately needed.

I have learned some interesting facts, like that in certain states you can't use your PO Box # as the address for your dental insurance, because it's illegal.  That was something I never expected.

For all that I have loved this time in between one place and another, I am looking forward to the day when I will have a new permanent place to live, and all this stuff unpacked, and my juicer.

Caution: Adventure Ahead

It's been a while since I posted here. There has been so much going on in my life and I decided it was prudent not to post anything . In less than a month I will take off from this little west Kentucky town.

Where I am going I am not exactly sure.

Yes, if you know me well you know that this is completely out of character for me.

The back story is this: about 2 years ago I started praying for direction and clarity. I felt like my time here was coming to a close. I was tired of spending holidays alone, missing my niece and nephew's birthdays. I wanted to be close to friends who like to hike, who are up for random road trips and adventures. I wanted to be in a place where there might be some single guys my age. I know, this is a lot to ask for.

A year ago I mentioned this plan to 2 close friends, they jumped for joy and said "we have been praying you would come to this decision." I started looking for jobs and I put my house on the market. It sold very quickly. I moved in temporarily with friends and moved my stuff into storage. My parents took my dog for the time being. (I am now fearful they may keep her forever)

I still don't have a job lined up, but God has given immense clarity, it is time for change.

I have 5 weeks of vacation accumulated, I have been given the opportunity to use it before moving on to my next place of employment. I am going on a road trip to New England. I did do this last summer, but this time it will be different.

There are somethings I have set-up, like spending Friday night-Monday of Memorial day weekend in Pennsylvania with good friends, and meeting another friend in NYC for the day on Memorial day.

Mostly I will be enjoying time with friends and family, going to the beach, hiking Mt Washington, and learning to slow down and rest.

I am hoping that during those 5 weeks I will have interviews, and hopefully job offers.

I am hoping during those 5 weeks that I get to laugh with friends,

and eat meals with my family. I plan to randomly pull off the highway when I see signs for things like civil war battlefields, or random historical sites.

I plan to drop in on friends at work with coffee and a smile.

I plan on reading some good books and helping my Aunt and Uncle in the garden. I plan on finally eating at my cousin's restaurant.  I plan on watching the sun rise over the Atlantic. I plan on visiting my great aunt and meeting another cousin in Boston for fun. 

Mostly I plan on not having a really structured plan, and slowing down a bit, except when I go out for runs.

The family I am currently living with suggested that I update my blog along the way with pictures, silly stories, profound epiphanies, etc... I thought that was an excellent idea. So here it goes...